RS: I Haz Planz 22/12/15


It’s looking good folks. It really, really is! ^_^

Actions Over The Past Fortnight

checking off feedback~Send winter newsletter (if you’d like to get the last publishing news and upcoming covers sent straight to your inbox, join up here before December 14)
Sorted. My last update of the year and it was nice to send that out. I’ve also been chatting with a couple of you outside of that, via email and enjoying myself a great deal!
Thank you for taking the time to email me, it means a lot, and, if any of you want to do the same, it’s easy to get in contact. 🙂

~Write blurbs for next four Smexxy Snippets
All done. I’m pleased actually, as it gives me a guide of exactly what I need to work through for the start of next year. I’m very excited about this new little series.

~Make decision on whether or not I’ll be publishing my Smexxy Snippets to Smashwords too
I certainly will be publishing to Smashwords too (right now there’s no reason to go exclusive with Amazon) so I’ll be uploading the rest of these titles shortly.

Activities For This Fortnight

little green tic. . . Since my first Smexxy Snippet is out today and I’ve already worked ahead on the rest of December’s goals, I actually don’t have anything else to do. My tasks for the year are done!

Thoughts . . .

Yeah, I didn’t expect that either. ^_^ I’m going to enjoy having a good wedge of time off, preparing to come back in the new year with a new plan and a set of objectives for 2016. And, now that I think about it, Ileandra will probably appreciate the extra time with DSB, since she still has a bucket load of things to get done.

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RS: The ‘D/s’ In #BDSM – Part Four, Submission


I suppose it would be kind to leave a warning here before you start. Many, if not all, of the links in this series of posts are totally NSFW. If you want to have a look, do, by all means, but don’t be surprised if you find naked boy bits at the other end . . . or girl bits.
Happy? Let’s go.

line break, swirling graphics, from openclipart

Sorry it’s late folks! Goodness, we’re not doing very well with getting these things out on time, are we? Never mind! Back to normal—I hope.

So, submission. I’ve been looking forward to this because it’s a mindset I’m keen to understand. What is it that leads a person to want to submit? In some cases to need submission? Let’s discuss.

What Is Submission?

First of all, let’s just say it’s not about being a doormat. Similar to the way I spoke about dominance, submission is about finding pleasure and/or peace in the act of giving over control to someone you know and trust. Some submissives find pleasure in sexual submission, others in domestic. Others find their pleasure in putting all their decisions wholly in the hands of another. Like everything to do with BDSM, there are myriad flavours and variations.

So . . . It’s About Not Being In Charge?

In its most simple form, you could say that, but not quite. Remember I said ‘not a doormat’? A submissive may be a shy and timid person, they may be a strong, extroverted and bold person, it doesn’t matter. The core here, is where they find their pleasure: making someone else happy by doing as they’re asked.

But a submissive still has a lot of control. I’ve heard it said, time and time again, that the real power in a D/s dynamic lies with the submissive, as they always have the right to say ‘no.’ The same is true for a dominant (though the intricacies of why a dominant may need to say no are quite complex), but certainly if a submissive calls a halt to any play with a safe word, then yes, that can be considered a type of control.

But Why?

Why not? In other parts of this series I’ve talked about the pleasure to be found in restriction and bondage, not mainstream in their appeal but very much there. In this case, it’s because a submissive enjoys the act. Simple as. Either enjoyment comes from the act of submitting, or the pleasure in seeing the results of their actions, or even just in relaxing into a role in which the usual pressures of every day life don’t apply. The reasons behind each person’s desire to submit is deeply personal and hard to sum up in a paragraph.

Is It Dangerous?

*sigh* Crossing the road can be dangerous. Eating grapes can be dangerous. Danger lies in how the relationship is treated and what the people involved are like. The act of giving someone your submission is, in of itself, a deeply personal and trusting one. The potential for emotional and mental harm is off the charts, but that is just the same as any other vanilla relationship. So too, is the risk of physical harm. Sure, there may be other factors involved that aren’t present in a vanilla relationship (we’ve already touched on bondage, later we’ll be looking into S&M), but I don’t believe submission is dangerous.

But What About—

Yes, I know. I know. Don’t worry, I’m very much aware that there are situations in which submission (and dominance) can be dangerous and since we all knew it was going to happen, the next time I post, I’ll be talking about that relationship in those books.

-_- It’s going to be a rough one, but I’ll do my best to keep my rage to a minimum.

Catch you next time.

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IY: Mah Plans 14/12/15


First up, sorry to miss this morning’s post. 😦 The world got away with me and I just couldn’t catch up the time to write the post to my usual standard. Rather than write something poor and lackluster, I decided to leave it until next time.

Right! Following last week’s bonus blog, I’ve done a lot of thinking and a lot of reading. Not only have I read through ‘On A Knife Point’ in full, but I’ve also read through ‘Clash of the Animal Kings (Mach II)’ with a view to begin editing on it.

But last night I decided not to pursue that.

I know, I know, it sounds like a most un-Ileandra-like thing to do, but I have a number of reasons for it. First up, it’s not in my goals for the year. It was never my intention to edit my NaNo novel so soon and doing so would push the last of this year’s goals to the side. Second, I want Saar’s Legacy finished. I need it done. That trilogy is a major part of my marketing plan going forward and I won’t be able to do anything until it’s out of the way. Third and most important: I don’t want to rush Clash.

I know myself well enough to understand this: if I try to do it now, racing to get it done before Jan 31 then I’ll not do anything else. Not only that, but I’ll feel obligated to ensure that I send it in and I won’t be able to resist doing so, even if it’s not ready. That would be a real shame, especially since I have an open invitation to send more work in when it’s ready following my semi-success with ‘Silk Over Razor Blades’ last year.

So . . . yeah. In light of that, I won’t be working on Clash. I’ll be following my original plan and going through ‘On A Knife Point’ instead.

Actions Over The Past Fortnight

~Complete digital read of ‘Walking The Razor’s Edge’ (paperback file) and order proof from CreateSpace
This is done. I ordered the proof and, if you’ve seen my Facebook page recently, you know I’ve received it. Now I just need to complete my read of the physical copy and ensure there are no last minute corrections that need to be made before I send it out.

~Ensure final digital file of ‘Walking The Razor’s Edge’ for Kindle is uploaded to Amazon
Done! There should be no issues with this file unless I find them in the body of the text during my read of the physical proof.

~Format ‘Target Beta: Episode Three’ for Smashwords
Also sorted. Pretty easy once I’ve done the main body of work for getting it on Amazon. There were a couple of things I had to tweak but Smashwords formatting is pretty easy now. No errors and the pre-order has gone straight out to the premium catalogue. Yeeeeeey!

~Ensure final digital file of ‘Target Beta: Episode Three’ is uploaded to Amazon and Smashwords
As above, this is done. Once it was formatted, it was just a case of adding it in. Which is done.

~Finalise covers for episodes four and five of ‘Dead And Alive’
Five is done, four is giving me trouble. I just can’t get the balance of tone right . . . so far it’s either too dark or too light. I need a hint of menace in it too and my design skills just may not be up for it. I’ll have to try again later.

~Read ‘On A Knife Point’ in it’s current form and make broad notes on editing
Done. Most of these notes are in my head, however, since I’m trying to use less paper by editing directly into Scrivener. I am, however, making more notes in my book about what’s coming up next and what needs to be sorted in each chapter. That should allow me to work through the necessary tweaks fairly speedily.

Activities For This Fortnight (complete by 28/12/15)

  • blank calendar from OpenClipArtWrite blurbs for the last three Dead and Alive episodes
  • Create cover art for Dead And Alive episodes four and six
  • Complete proof of physical ‘Walking The Razor’s Edge
  • Complete deep edits on at least half of ‘On A Knife Point’ (around 45,000 words)

Thoughts…

With Christmas right around the corner I wonder if this is too much. And yet, I also think that if I give myself too little to do I might just go mad. I need to be doing something or else I feel like I’m wasting time and I found that last fortnight, despite the length of the list, I didn’t quite have enough to do. This should keep me busy and ensure that I don’t end up skipping off into the sunset with crazy ideas about adding more things to my to-do list right at the end of the year. Seems like a daft thing to do, right?

Also, knowing that I won’t be working on Clash right now should go a long way towards keeping me focused. That uncertainty last week really affected my out put as I didn’t know which way was up and which was down. This should be better.

new ileandra signature,

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RS: I Haz Planz 07/12/15 & November Round Up


November has been over for a little while now, but it’s time to round up how I got on through that month. Looking back . . . I think I did pretty well!

Actions Over The Past Fortnight

checking off feedback~Create and complete five Smexxy Snippet covers
Yes!
It took a bit of wiggling and fighting, but I managed. I found a base design I liked for the layout and then created each cover to match up with that. I want these stories to be brandable, so I want a consistent look across all the covers as they come out. I’m pleased to say: success! Not only that, but I created all ten of the covers I’ll need to get the series started. ^_^

November Round Up

~Create covers for and list the ten Smexxy Snippets I have planned. Have them up as pre-orders as far as Amazon and Smashwords will allow.
Done-ish. The covers are all created but I haven’t put the pre-orders up yet as I need to make sure the blurbs are done. Thankfully that shouldn’t be hard and I’ll be able to get that done this month. ^_^

~Ensure the release of ‘Slippers & Chains: Second Base’ goes as smoothly as possible on 21 November.
Sorted. Wasn’t really much left for me to work through, but it’s done. I think one more year of getting content out there and then I can reel back the schedule to something less mad and concentrate on directing people to what I have available. Woohoo!

Change That Shit Up!

Oooooooh, my god, look at that list! Look! It’s nearly empty! Yuuuuush!!! Completed tasks struck out, changes/clarifications in red and new tasks in green.

  1. Publish ‘Slippers & Chains: Second Base’ on 21 November 2015
  2. List titles of ten Smexxy Snippets and have them arrayed for pre-order by end of December 2015

Targets For December 2015

This should be easy, right? :p

  1. Ensure my first Smexxy Snippet releases as planned on December 22 2015
  2. List four more Smexxy Snippets for January, February, March and April
    1. Decide if I want them across both Amazon and Smashwords
    2. Make the appropriate formatting decisions based on that decision
  3. Send last newsletter of the year

Activities For This Fortnight

  1. little green ticSend winter newsletter (if you’d like to get the last publishing news and upcoming covers sent straight to your inbox, join up here before December 14)
  2. Write blurbs for next four Smexxy Snippets
  3. Make decision on whether or not I’ll be publishing my Smexxy Snippets to Smashwords too

Thoughts . . .

I’m so pleased. SO pleased! Everything has gone swimmingly, and so much has been achieved. Maybe I will have Christmas off after all. ^_^

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RS: The ‘D/s’ In #BDSM – Part Three, Dominance


I suppose it would be kind to leave a warning here before you start. Many, if not all, of the links in this series of posts are totally NSFW. If you want to have a look, do, by all means, but don’t be surprised if you find naked boy bits at the other end . . . or girl bits.
Happy? Let’s go.

line break, swirling graphics, from openclipart

A few weeks back I talked about dominance and submission (D/s) as a whole. Today I’ll focus on the ‘dominance’ side.

What Makes A Dominant

In the BDSM arena, dominance is about control. The desire to have it, use it and most of all, be given it by someone who trusts you. It isn’t about getting your own way, ensuring your own desires are met, or giving people orders. There is a difference between being dominant and being bossy and/or overbearing.

The Google dictionary defines ‘dominant’ as:

“having power and influence over others.”

That is especially true here. A dominant person (in this context) enjoys and is (often) aroused by the feeling of control and power over another.

So What Do They Do?

That depends on the dominant. Control can manifest in a number of different ways but some of the most common are:

  • Controlling the intensity and/or frequency of sexual relations
  • Controlling when (or even if) a submissive may achieve orgasm
  • Deciding what a submissive wears (or if they wear anything at all)
  • Restricting submissives to using an honorific when speaking to them (Sir/Ma’am/Miss/Master etc)

These are actually quite broad areas in which to exert control and certainly not an exhaustive list. Other, more specific ways I’ve heard of include:

  • Deciding when (and if) a submissive may use the bathroom
  • Deciding what a submissive may eat
  • Restricting eye contact or speech
  • The use of slave/submissive positions (if you’re interested in these I’ll do a post about Gorean slave positions another time)

Whatever the manner of control, a dominant’s aim is to bring about pleasure through use of their control.

But Isn’t That Selfish?

Not at all. Note I said ‘bring about pleasure’ not ‘bring about their own pleasure.’ A dominant who is partnered with a true submissive will find that giving orders for their pleasure in turn creates pleasure for their submissive.

Remember it’s not just about getting your own way? Being a dominant, rather than just . . . an arrogant, selfish, bossy-boots (I can’t think of another way to say it) is understanding the responsibility that comes with the control.

Trust is an incredible gift and has to be earned. With that trust a dominant, will find that control is willingly given to them by a submissive who trusts who knows they will be:

  1. Looked after
  2. Able to serve in a manner that pleases them
  3. Able to give pleasure through that service

But Is That Healthy?

Sure. I’m no psychologist, but why wouldn’t it be?

Before you start waving your arms and chanting ‘abusive relationships’ at me, yes, I know that happens: I’ve seen it and the devastating affects on close friends of DSB. I know that rape happens and these things are also about control. But the control a dominant desires, versus that wielded by a rapist is utterly different. There is no pleasure for a D/s dominant unless control is given willingly through mutual trust and respect, and certainly no desire to truly hurt a submissive.

Dominants are strong, caring, thoughtful, and giving people, by necessity. They are required, at all times, to know, understand and genuinely care for their submissive. To nurture the relationship they have in order to ensure they have one at all. ‘Dominants’ who don’t do this, aren’t dominants at all, but merely the arrogant, selfish bossy-boots I mentioned earlier.

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