RS: The ‘B’ In #BDSM – Part Three, So Where Do We Do This?


I suppose it would be kind to leave a warning here before you start. Many, if not all, of the links in this series of posts are totally NSFW. If you want to have a look, do, by all means, but don’t be surprised if you find naked boy bits at the other end . . . or girl bits.
Happy? Let’s go.

line break, swirling graphics, from openclipart

So far we’ve covered the ‘what’ and the ‘why’. Now it’s time to look at the where.

confusing road signs

Credit: johnthan

This is potentially a short post as the most basic answer is ‘anywhere.’ Bondage can happen anywhere and at any time, though the more extreme and obvious examples will obviously lend themselves to specific places.

But rope harnesses or leather accessories? You can wear those whenever you like and, the truth is, part of the fun can be in bringing bondage into your every day life. Like submissives who have a piece of jewellery about their person to represent a collar; something you might never usually associate with kink that holds a specific meaning for them and their dominant. These things could be earrings, necklaces, rings, hell, even a specific piece of underwear or nail varnish. The possibilities are endless because the people involved are as varied and different as any other.

For the purposes of this post, however, let’s look at a some specifics.

Home

cute little house, OpenClipArtNice and simple. In the safety (and privacy) of your own home, one can practise bondage in varying degrees. Using any of the tools I described earlier and for any of the reasons I described earlier.

Or not.

Be creative. The home is choc-full of all sorts of things that can be used for light bondage play, though I’d say that if you choose to use items not specifically designed for the purpose you intend to put them to, take care and be aware of safety.

I’m certainly no expert, but a good dash of common sense is required here.

Clubs

Not just for music and dancing, that’s for sure! Alternative clubs are all over the place (if you care to look) and some of them cater to the kink crowd. This means there are spaces specifically designed for play to take place.

Not bad, right?

Kinky Hollywood by ropemarks

By Bob from RopeMarks [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

These places are warm, comforting and friendly, filled with a vast range of different folks with different strokes. Some are there to play, some are there to watch, many are there simply to socialise and chat with those they speak to on-line. Some clubs have private rooms, others don’t, but many of them do have areas containing toys and/or equipment available for patrons to use.

There are often rules in place, specific to the venue that tells people what behaviour is expected of them should they choose to use the facilities. These are often clearly displayed and visible in multiple locations throughout the venue. Some venues (though not all) are also alcohol free.

There are certain laws in place with protect these places. I’m not sure what they are (again, not an expert!) but I’d imagine there are licenses required, the same way they are for the selling of alcohol. I don’t know if these laws are the reason, but I do know that play is can be confined to non-penetrative acts.

Parties

Penguin with cake and present; party!

Credit: Moini

A little like clubs, but more personal and probably smaller. ‘Play Parties’ are something I’ve been meaning to write about for some time but, given that I feel the need to do more research first (mwaaa ha ha ha h ah hahaa!) My understanding here is that these events tend to be held in someone’s home or in a hired venue (though in a hired venue there may be far less toys/equipment available).

Here, think a house party, the sort of event you’ve probably been to a dozen times in your life. Except people may show up wearing latex, leather and silks, fully prepared to spank or be spanked by other party go-ers.

Since these events are usually confined to those who know each other well already there is perhaps less of a safety and trust issue, but I want to talk about that now.

Trust, Safety and Common Sense

I mentioned rules employed by venues and that a smattering of common sense is required. Whether you are in a public place or enjoying bondage in your own home, I’d say, approach it with your head fully on your shoulders.

Many people refuse to drink alcohol during any form of BDSM activity. Personally I think that’s a great idea and I was thrilled to hear that many venues are dry in that regard, serving only soft drinks and water.

Bondage and any form of BDSM requires trust and due consideration to all potential risks. Do you or your partner have any conditions that make you less flexible than someone else? Are you prone to panic attacks? Are you claustrophobic? Do you have a heart condition? Are you a nervous or anxious person? Do you know what you’re doing with ropes? Have you a sense of delicate areas to avoid putting pressure or how long it is safe to tie a particular body part?

There are lots of things to consider and though it may sound like a bit of a downer I’m assured that knowing these things before hand leads to lengthier, more intense and ultimately more enjoyable bondage sessions for all.

Raven's Signature In Black

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About Raven ShadowHawk

I take great pleasure in writing erotica and am merely one side of the proverbial coin. My other half, 'Ileandra Young' writes fantasy and the occasional comedy piece. My six-part series 'Meeting Each Other' is available in full, through Amazon and Smashwords while my debut novella 'Sugar Dust' is now re-released (!) available through Amazon via Little Vamp Press.
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