Let’s try that again, shall we….
I have a very nice day. Gentle. Calm. Almost stress free.
Do you know why?
Because I didn’t try to work.
I know lots of you are in a similar position to me; you write because you love it, but you have a family to care for. A house to run. Some of you even have jobs that keep you away 9-5 and then you have to come back and care for your family and run your house. I might not have the 9-5 job, but I do have my boys to look after, more constantly at the moment as my partner has a project on the go that’s eating all his time (and sanity).
Yesterday when I tried to get a bit more editing done I had a major freak out which seemed to be a culmination of dozens of things all at once. I broke my computer chair, kicked a bean bag (fortunately it was soft or that could have been a broken toe), ripped my top and ended up lying in bed trying to steady my breathing while cursing the world and everything in it. I eventually fell asleep. It was only a 20 minute ‘power nap’ but I was in a much better state of mind by the time I woke up.
Why am I telling you this?
No… I don’t need that.
Pffft! There’s nothing funny about freaking out to the point that you end up in tears. So no, not that.
Like pity, no, I don’t need or want that. This issue is self inflicted so, frankly put, I don’t deserve it.
No, I’m sharing this with you because I feel I owe it to you.
For several reasons:
- To be honest with you. This morning’s post was terrible and I’m not proud of it; I want to be completely honest with you about why that happened, not to make excuses, but so that you know. That’s all.
- To be honest with myself. Lying about what I can and can’t cope with is daft because in the long run it only leads to the destruction of much needed furniture. -_- I haven’t checked the chair yet; don’t know if I can use it any more, but I hope I can as I haven’t got a spare.
- To remind myself (and you for that matter) that I (and we) are not alone.
To clarify; everybody has bad days. Everybody has days when stress gets on top of them and the world seems to be snickering at them. Days when nothing goes right. Days we’re blocked. Days in which we don’t quite meet our goals. But we all have them and the key thing to remember is that failure isn’t one set back, failure is letting that one set back mess with the rest of your plans.
With that in mind I want to have another look at this week’s goals. I don’t often put personal or ‘real life’ goals in this list because they aren’t related to writing but not everything in my life can be about writing. I have to have a break some time. We all do.
This Week, Revisited
- Recover. I did it to myself, but I need to spend some time being calm and taking care of myself. Reading. Catching up on my writing magazines.
I mean it.
Anything else I get done this week is gravy, but I’ll not be forcing myself to do it. I need rest. More sleep. A recharge.
Next Monday, the last post of the month for me, I’ll talk about what’s coming up in March and beyond and restructuring the long term goals. A little ahead of schedule, but SMART goals are nowhere near as good as SMARTER goals and that’s what I try to set myself.
See you all next Monday.
Be gentle with yourselves.