Dialogue, Scene Setting & Building Tension: A Study – Pt3 (& Mah Plans 30/06 and Half Year Recap)

Posted on June 30, 2014 by Ileandra Young

I’ve been talking about The Matrix trilogy for three weeks now. This is the last of the posts I had planned. The other two are here and here.

Today it’s building tension. And there’s a lot of it in this trilogy. Though it seems to me a lot of the ‘tricks’ involved are the same over and over, but with a different coat of paint. Oh, and if you’ve not seen the trilogy then I’m sorry, but I’ve no idea how to do this without giving spoilers, so you might want to just skip this post. Soz.

In the first film it’s about dramatic tension, or us knowing something that the characters don’t. The Oracle tells Neo that he’s not The One and that Morpheus is going to give himself up because we believe otherwise. Well… I’m probably not alone in saying that I feel it would have been a bloody disappointing film if he wasn’t The One, so, as a first time watcher, I knew something odd was going on. Someone was clearly getting played; but was it us, or was it Neo? Turns out it was both. :p

The second film there’s a good ‘will they / won’t they’ thing going on, particularly in some of the fight scenes. Neo also has several dreams in which he sees Trinity falling from a building. Again, as watchers we can assume that this will have a part to play later, but Neo doesn’t know what happens to her at the end of the fall and neither do we. So we spend good chunks of the film knowing that this terrible scene is coming, but having no idea how it’s going to end.

The third film is all about ‘the ticking clock.’ Neo must be rescued from the Trainman before the Merovingian finds out he’s there. Nairobi (LOVE that name!) must reach Zion before the machines do too much damage. Neo must reach the machine city to negotiate with them before the sentinel army wipes out the entire population of Zion. All of these things add a layer of tension to what is already happening in the story; the growing powers of Agent Smith, Neo’s ability to affect the Matrix while not jacked in, Morpheus’ sense of betryal, Zion preparing for war…. It’s all going on!

Many of these tricks can be used in writing too. In the case of Silk Over Razor Blades there are quite a few instances where the narrative tells the reader something that Lenina doesn’t yet know, or allows the reader to infer some things that Lenina isn’t capable of figuring out yet. I think that’s one of my favourite devices to keep people hooked in. There’s no ‘ticking clock’ in this story but I do make use of a parallel time line to drop hints about what’s happening to her. I’ve never used something like that before but beta reviews indicate that these sequences are sure favourites. People seem to enjoy those more than the main storyline! Which means I need do some work on the main storyline. o.O

Any, that’s me done bitching about discussing The Matrix trilogy. I’m going to move on to the next half of this extraordinarily long titled post. Remember, if you don’t care about that sort of thing, there’s no need to hang around. Enjoy your day. x

line break, swirling graphics, from openclipartLast post of the month on the last day of the month, it must be time to do the mid year round up! Raven’s done hers already, so I’m going to nab her ‘template’ to go through all the bits n bobs I want to discuss.

Last Week

Continue to write, on average 2000 words per working day on WTRE
Eeeerm, yeah!

Facebook status re wordcount.

WOO!

Read at least two peer blog posts per day – I’ve missed keeping up with you guys and feeling horribly guilty about dropping off the grid. I’m coming back!
Not two every day, but I averaged that over the week. I’m so thrilled to see you all doing so well in various ways and being so cheerful. As ever I’m wowed by your talented and thrilled to know you through your words. 🙂

Look at three chapters of SORB with my beta notes
Nope. Got distracted.

Outline another short story for CF
Done. In fact I outlined two stories, though one I might enter to a competition instead. Hmm. Anyway, regardless, I just need to write them now.

Edit the faerie short story and send it out
The short story was originally 770 words. It’s now nudging towards 3000 so the place I had lined up for it is no longer appropriate. -_- I also think I could stretch it even further; it has the legs to be a 10k story. *sigh* So I’ll have to put that to one side until I’m done with WTRE and then go back to it.

I didn’t do badly actually. I’m pleased that I managed so much with all the other distractions going on. And I managed to give myself time off at the weekend to do other jobs that were piling up. I wonder if I can keep it up….

Goals for 2014 (Recap)

They really were big beasts, these goals. Some of them, I know right now, will not get done.

Publish ‘Silk Over Razor Blades’ (SORB) through Little Vamp Press
I’m on track. So far, so good. ^_^

Write first draft of ‘Walking The Razor’s Edge (WTRE)
Reached the half way point on Friday. It’s all looking good.

Write first draft of ‘On A Knife Point (OAKP) – NB: SORB, WTRE and OAKP are the novel which make a single trilogy, tentatively named ‘Saar’s Legacy’
I intend for this to be my NaNo project this year, so, again I’m on track. So long as I’m done drafting WTRE I’ll be good to go.

Have Clash of the Animal Kings (CoTAK) ready for external editing
A noble goal, but it’s not going to happen. Too much other stuff going on. I’ll have to save that for next year.

Create and populate a fresh solo website (with static content) to run alongside this blog
Like Raven, mine is almost done. Just need to sort out the freebie pages, link in the domain name and it’s good to go.

So with all that on the cards looking into the rest of the year I think it’s more of the same.

By The End of 2014…

  1. Ensure solo website is complete and live
  2. Have ebook versions of SORB on sale with preparations in the mix for physical copies (through Create Space)
  3. Complete first draft of WTRE
  4. Complete first draft of OAKP

Sounds like a lot. But most of that is writing and it’s writing about characters I love. That’s awesome and I can’t help but think how lucky I am to be able to do this. I’m really looking forward to the last half of the year.

Goals For July 2014

  1. Another 40,000 words complete of WTRE
  2. Finalise solo website and hit ‘go’

That is PLENTY to keep me going throughout the month. Taking into account I have a LARP as well (YEY!) which will take me out of work for four days (maybe five).

This Week

  1. Continue to write, on average 2000 words per working day (at least five days) on WTRE
  2. Look at the freebies I intend to give away on the solo website and pick one to get ready

Haha, compared to last week this is a significant drop in goals. But the most important goals I have are my own projects for the moment. In later weeks I’ll be able to tell you more about other exciting things I’m involved in (sooooo excited!), but not just yet. Those other things will, in turn, change up some of these goals, but that’s partly what this posts are for. Mixing things up and adapting to changing circumstances is a good thing.

There! Phew.Well done if you’ve made it to the bottom of this mammoth list. :p And thanks. I know these goals are mostly for me, but for those of you who get this far and see what I’m doing, that’s as much a spur as anything else which keeps me going.new ileandra signature,

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Why ‘Romantic Rape’ Is Not Cool

Posted on June 28, 2014 by Raven ShadowHawk

Seems like an odd thing to talk about, but as I mill about the internet I see so much of this conversation that I feel it’s probably about time for me to stick my oar in.

First of all, do you guys know of Brian Keene? If not, you should, he’s awesome. Get on over to his blog right now and read up on all the cool stuff he talks about. This post in particular made me sit up straight and realise just how blinkered I am to some of the issues in the world. I do spend a lot of time in my own kinky bubble, but every now and then I look out through the iridescent sides and feel a little flicker of panic.
People getting threatened with rape? On social media? This is a thing?!

angry green monster with teeth - from OpenClipArt

Soooo angry. -_-

I was pissed.

Like millions of others in the world, I’m lucky enough to be able to hold my head up and say I’ve never been raped. But there are millions of people in the world who don’t have that luxury. Hell, people very close to me have suffered that terrible ordeal and every time I think of it I feel so sick inside that I’m sure parts of me curl up and die. Part of me writhes in shame; shame that the species I belong to could treat another of their kind so abysmally.

While that wasn’t the first time such issues became apparent to me, it was probably one (of the many) catalysts that has led me to feel so strongly.

Then, last week, again while mooching, I found this post in my WordPress Reader. If you can’t be arsed to have a look (for shaaaaaaaaaame) the post is from Red Sofa Literary and talks about sex scenes and consent. Particularly why this agent rejects manuscripts in which the hero(ine) is coerced into sex.
Now… it may not appear that this person is coerced. They may be reluctant at first but the truth of this character is that they’re afraid to get caught, or it’s an inconvenient moment or they’re guilty over something else or their favourite TV show is on. Whatever the reason, they may say ‘no,’ but it’s only a flimsy cover for the fact that they really, really (like really, really!) want to have sex. So this other person teases them, coaxes them, eases them into what is, eventually the most mind-blowing and incredible sex the pair have ever had.

Am I right?
You’ve read something like that before, I’m sure. I know I have.
And I know that I’ve sat there thinking the piece of writing was sensual and sexy and thrilling and wonderful.

sad face stylised emoticon

But it’s not. It’s so, so not. And I’m ashamed that it took reading Laura’s post to make me realise that fact.

What is rape?
Well, Wikipedia has this to say:

Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms sexual penetration initiated against one or more individuals without the consent of those individuals. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority or against a person who is incapable of valid consent, such as one who is unconscious, incapacitated, or below the legal age of consent. The term rape is sometimes used interchangeably with the term sexual assault.

Hmm, okay. Seems pretty clear. But what are the key words in this definition?
Let’s see… *skims* To my eye, the key word in the whole of that paragraph is consent. Look at it again, the word comes up three times.

In the examples I gave above, the hero(ine) was reluctant to engage in sexy play for a number of reasons. They probably said ‘no’ at some point, right? Well, isn’t what follows a direct disregard of their wishes? Like Laura says, a coerced ‘yes’ is just as bad as a ‘no.’
Because it’s still a ‘no.’
It’s no different (well it is, but bear with me) from saying ‘fuck good and fuck me quick or I’ll strangle your cute little puppy.’
Icky, right? Horrible? Sick? Scary?
So why is coercing somebody in more animal friendly ways any less disturbing?

Well I could probably write a whole post about that. Maybe I will some day, but for now, what I want to say is this:

One
Rape is real. It’s not a game. It’s not about sex, but power and one person (or several) holding it over another and that is scary shit.

Two
There’s no such thing as romantic rape. ALL sex should come with a good, strong dose of consent. If it doesn’t, that’s just plain rape. And, as I’ve said above, it’s not cool.
Just because someone eventually comes to enjoy themselves, or ‘gives in’, doesn’t mean that they didn’t at first say no. You may not get arrested for it, particularly if the sex was good (KIDDING!!!) but it is still rape.

Three
‘Romantic rape’ has become so ‘normal’ that even someone as squishy and gentle as me (yes, I am, honest), didn’t see it for what it was until the fact was shoved in my face by someone else. Normalising ‘romantic rape’ just helps pave the way for less cheerful rape to be seen as acceptable behaviour. Which it’s not.

warning sign

Credit: yves_guillou

So there we go.
I think, in future, I’ll be attaching a warning to my future pennings, in the same way as awesome comic artist and story-teller Tab Kimpton:

WARNING: CONTAINS CONSENT

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Research Is Fun! – (& I Haz Planz 26/06 and Half Year Recap)

Posted on June 26, 2014 by Raven ShadowHawk

I got flogged! ^_^

Flogger, purple

…
Oh, that needs some explanation, does it? Okay.

Last Saturday I went to the alternative and burlesque fair run by Heresy n Heelz. Details of the event (and all others) can be found here. I went because, having recently sent out ‘Slippers & Chains’ I thought it would be a good place to get some more ideas for the next three stories.

Fetish Models 2011

And boy was it! I quite like alternative clothing anyway and while I can’t fit into most of it, I love looking at corsets, big dresses, spike heels, chokers, jewellery, tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny t-shirts, lacy skirts, lycra and latex (oh, and while that picture is the type type of thing I saw, it’s not a picture of the event). But the most interesting stall was the one run by Kinky Pink. On the one side was a beautiful collection of spreader bars, leather waist cinchers, flogs and whips, and on the other a terrifying assortment of ‘tools’ for e-stim play. If you aren’t familiar with this sort of thing, I understand them to be the same kit as a TENs machine (usually used as a form of pain relief during pregnancy and labour). This kit has been modified to include attachments which can then be used to stimulate various parts of the body with electricity.

Not my bag, it has to be said, but I can certainly imagine how it might feel. Though maybe not in my squishy bits. o.O

Anyway, I met a lovely man from Kinky Pink, named Martyn who agreed to demo a couple of the flogs for me (since I’d taken a shine to a pair of suede ones. In purple of course!). A demo, in this case, meant allowing him to flog me across the back with the tails of these flogs.

Now, this is a man who clearly knows what he’s doing and took me through some of the ins and outs of how flogs can be used. Zones to avoid, tricks to build sensation and anticipation. It was all incredibly interesting and I’m glad I went. Needless to say I now have some real sensory details to include in upcoming ‘Slippers & Chains’ stories. 😉

Going forward, I’m going to look for more of these events as part of my research. I used to go to quite a lot of them with my old house mates, but when we all went our separate ways it kinda fizzled out. Now I have more reason than ever to return to alternative/kink/fetish events so I’ll be making a point to do it in future.

line break, swirling graphics, from openclipartSince this is the last Thursday of the month I should be looking over my plans for the year as a whole and what I’ve achieved so far. I don’t want this post to sprawl for ages, so I’m going to do it in bullet points and in brief. Remember, as ever, if you’re not interested in my goals, then the main part of this post is finished and you can head on your merry way. 🙂

Last Week…

~Look at where I last left ‘Eric & Morgan’ (‘Meeting Each Other’ 4) and see what needs to be done.
I was part way through my deep edits. It shouldn’t take me too much longer than a week to get the rest done.

~Look at where I left production on the solo website and plan how best to proceed it.
Freebies and press kit where the only things left. Having polished the press kit last night I just need to make sure that the freebies are in place. After that I finalise the theme, colours and link in the domain name and then it’s ready to go.

black notebook and red pencil from OpenClipArt

~Look where I left ‘Raven’s Diary’ and see what needs to be done to ensure that newsletter subscribers get their monthly update.
More deep edits needed than I originally thought. The first section is done, but a lot of the rest needs a heavy handed dose of the red pen before it’s suitable to go to the newsletter subscribers. In light of that, I need to give it a lot of attention going forward.

So that was last week. Now if I take a look at what I was hoping to do over the course of the year I can make some plans.

Goals for 2013 (recap)

~Publish all six ‘Meeting Each Other’ stories as individual ebooks
Three out of six done. Currently on a break to give the proper focus to ‘Slippers & Chains’, though while that is under submission I’ll be looking at them again.

~Publish all six ‘Meeting Each Other’ stories as specially edition physical book, complete with extras. That’s right, you heard me; PHYSICAL BOOK WITH EXTRAS!
Well that hinges on getting them done, so I’m on the right track, but it is still to one side.

~Work through ‘Slippers & Chains’ (pt1), reading to camera and posting them here for your delectable listening pleasure.
This goal is now void. I’m going through my big list of small presses to submit to first and ONLY if and when they’re all a no-go will I self publish. That means I have a lot of waiting to do before I’ll know if that’s even an option. Of course, if I’m lucky enough to sign with a small press, then this may be a viable way to handle the promotion side of the deal, but I’ll only know when that time comes. Cross your fingers for me.

~Publish ‘Slippers & Chains’ (pt1) as ebook with unabridged and additional scenes.
Going through my list of small presses will take some time. Worst case scenario I could still be querying by December this year because none of these places allow simultaneous submissions. So unless I strike gold with one of my submissions I don’t think I’ll have this done by the end of the year.

~Create and populate a fresh solo website (with static content) to run alongside this blog.
Going incredibly well! As I said above. In fact, it’s very nearly ready.

Right. Looks like there’s a change of focus needed here.

By the end of 2014…

  1. Query ‘Slippers & Chains’ with four different small presses
  2. Complete ebook versions and releases of the rest of the Meeting Each Other series
  3. Finalise solo website and hit ‘go’
  4. Make a start on the next ‘Slippers & Chains’ story

blank calendar from OpenClipArt

That gives me six months to do a hell of a lot of work. ^_^ But I can do it. It’s all within my capabilities and so long as I stay focused and check in with myself regularly, I know I’ll do it. This is all stuff I have control over. I don’t need to depend on anybody else to get these things done, which is key with writing goals.

Goals For July 2014

  1. If necessary, chase up Breathless Press re submission of ‘Slippers & Chains’ and prepare for submission to the next small press
  2. Finish deep edits on ‘Eric & Morgan’ and transfer back to Scrivener
  3. Complete solo website

Looking back over the last few months it seems I’ve forgotten to include the month by month goals. That goes some way towards explaining why my weeks have been a bit here and there. Time to change that.
Structure! I know I need it, or else nothing gets done.

This Week

  1. Stop checking my email every two hours for answers from Breathless Press
  2. Complete at least 1,500 words of deep edits on ‘Eric & Morgan’
  3. Pull together my ‘Meeting Master’ short story for placement on solo website as a freebie

Blimey! Sorry that was such a long list of goals. This last section of my Thursday posts is far more for me than it is for you, though obviously I don’t mind you reading them. I use these posts to keep my head where it needs to be and structure my week so I don’t spend it doing crap. This is a sure fire way of making sure I pay attention.
If you’ve made it this far through the post, thanks so much for sticking with me. It means a lot that you care enough to read through all the faff.

I’ll be back on Saturday with a post far less filled with ‘me, me, me’ and a deal more interesting to read.
x

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Dialogue, Scene Setting & Building Tension: A Study – Pt2 (& Mah Plans 23/06)

Posted on June 23, 2014 by Ileandra Young

If you missed part one of this little study of The Matrix trilogy, may I suggest you have a look at it here. You don’t need to, but if you want the funny bits, most of those were last week. 😉

This week I’m talking about scene setting within the trilogy. How the directors, producers, camera operators, set designers and actors all worked together to build engaging and memorable scenes to drive the story.
…
Well some of them were those things. Some were poorly veiled excuses to parade people in ‘silly’ clothes or have the main cast show of some skill of their character.

Again the film of the three is best. In one scene, Neo goes to work, late, as usual, and stands in a dull grey office to get bollocked by his boss. As the small, besuited man talks down to him, Neo is only half listening, he is watching the window cleaner wipe grime off the windows. As each swipe takes away a film of soapy bubbles, there is an accompanying screeeeeeeeeeccch of rubber against the glass. You know the sound? It’s horrible. And it’s a backdrop to the entire scene. I think it’s excellent as a device to show how Neo feels about this conversation with his boss. How hard it is on the ear, how repetitive, how dull. Like washing windows. Couple that with the washed out colours, dry dialogue and complete lack of backing music, the scene is a great example of a the type of life someone would love to get away from.
This is why, later on, I have no trouble in believing that Neo might pick the blue pill.

Much later within the film, again within the Matrix, Neo goes with Morpheus and Trinity to visit the Oracle. Her home is a classic small flat, in a huge block of several. Slightly run down, grimy corridors, lifts not working perhaps as well as they should. At the door, when Neo lifts his hand to knock, it is opened by someone on the other side who not only knew he was there (without a peep hole) but knew his name too.
Inside there are children, normal at first glance, but definitely a bit strange upon closer inspection. The girls playing with colours blocks with numbers and letters on them aren’t building towers, but floating them through the air, passing them back and forth to each other without using their hands. A boy, sitting on the floor in full lotus is bending metal spoons with a stare, like Uri Geller.
When Neo finally gets to see the Oracle, he finds a homely black woman baking cookies and smoking.
All of these sets you up for something strange. You know it, though you’re not sure what. The fabulous piece of misdirection from the Oracle sets up the rest of the film, but the scene preceding those very important lines has already built up a level of expectation inside you.

Insofar as laying out how things are in the Matrix and how they are in the real world, I think the film does an excellent job. This is one of those instances in which the dialogue is strongest, as it fills in detail for those senses that we don’t get to experience while watching. The Oracle talks about the smell of the lovely cookies she’s making in the Matrix, while Mouse talks about the strange grey goop the crew eat on the ship and why chicken seems to taste like everything.

I will be using some of the tricks from this film in future; describing what surrounds a scene (as well as the detail that drives it) is very important to give a flavour of the place. A feel of the atmosphere. Use of colour and sound lend tone or emotion to a scene that you can’t always get from reactions or dialogue. Or that you don’t want to get from those things, especially if a scene is conducted mostly with narrative.line break, swirling graphics, from openclipartOkay. That’s done… moving on with this week’s set of goals.

I feel that I’m finally getting back into the swing of things. I’m still tired, but I’m no longer aching in various body parts and the drive to keep pushing my story is back. That has a lot to do with the fact that I’m seeing the story evolve once more. Nothing is more motivating than watching the story grow on paper. Seeing the word count tick up and up. Seeing the chapters get ticked off as I fill in the narrative.

Last Week

Work on getting my daily output on WTRE back to where it was before the op (2000)
Done. Bar the two days I had off at the weekend (which I knew would happen) I’ve been back on form, averaging 2000 words per day. I cracked out something like 10,000 words this week and I’m keen to do it again.

Collate the rest of my SORB beta notes
Eeeeyup. Thank you so much guys, I do so appreciate what you’ve done for me. I’ll be giving some time over to working through what you gave me this week and I’ll come back to you if I have any questions.

All that puts me in good stead for what’s to come, but the tricky part is deciding how to split the time up. There’s a lot I want to do.

This Week

  1. Continue to write, on average 2000 words per working day on WTRE
  2. Read at least two peer blog posts per day – I’ve missed keeping up with you guys and feeling horribly guilty about dropping off the grid. I’m coming back!
  3. Look at three chapters of SORB with my beta notes
  4. Outline another short story for CF
  5. Edit the faerie short story and send it out

Phew.
Blimey, that’s a lot.
Well, it looks like a lot, but it’s not really. Hopefully.
This is the test, to see if I’m really back to where I was pre-op. If I can manage this, I can manage anything, right? 🙂

Catch you around. x
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Doing It Write

Posted on June 21, 2014 by Ileandra Young

angry green monster with teeth - from OpenClipArt

I’ve been feeling a mixture of pride and frustration over the last few weeks because I’ve either met my daily target or been unable to get anywhere near it. This is for all sorts of reasons, but the main ones are fatigue because of my op, or plans for my boys to go elsewhere for a couple of hours falling through.

But is my focus in the wrong place? Does it matter how many words I produce, so long as I produce some? And shouldn’t I worry far more about the quality of those words, rather than the quantity? Surely the later editing process will be a lot quicker if I don’t have a bunch of junk to trawl through when I get there.

A while ago I was chatting with Brian W. Taylor about first drafts. If you want to see the post, check out this because it forced me to slightly rethink the way I draft things.

WritingI want to get words down. That’s a big goal for me; seeing my word count creep up every day is a massive motivator and I aim to do 2,000 words every day. It may sound like a lot to some people, but with the gift of being able to touch type, that’s well within my capabilities. I often do more. Sometimes it only takes me an hour, especially if I know where I’m going. But should that be my focus? And are those 2,000 words any good when I’m bashing them out every single day?

The answer to most of these questions is ‘I don’t know.’

We all have to write in a manner that works in harmony with the rest of our lives. Some of us get up at 4am to write before the kids consume our day, others of us cram it in after a day of work with a strict plan to ensure daily/weekly/monthly targets are met. However we do it, we’ll all doing the same thing.

There is not right or wrong way, that’s what I’m coming to learn. There’s a way that works for you.

The main purpose of this post is to say ‘take heart!’ If you’re stuck or unable to produce as much as you hoped or can’t find the time, I’ll bet part of the reason you’re struggling is because you’re measuring yourself against other people. That was certainly my problem. I remember the days I’d feel low and crappy because some of my Twitter buddies had spent an entire day on their latest project. I felt jealous because I just didn’t have the time or space to do the same. But some of those people would only produce 500 words in that day. But me…? If I spent one hour or two on my latest project, I’d probably crack out at least 1000 words.

When I realised that, I stopped measuring myself against my peers. I measured myself against me instead. Not only did that ease the pressure on my shoulders, but it became a game. It’s now fun to see if I can hit my personal best and exceed it. And while I’m doing that I’m still producing the words, whether it’s 209 (Monday) or 4859 (yesterday).

What’s your ‘write way’? How do you organise your day to ensure that you do the best you can in a manner that works for you? Have you not found the best way yet? I’d love make note of all the different tricks you guys use. You never know, we may all find something cool out of chatting with each other. 🙂
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