Rediscovering The Love


I don’t have long to write this right now, so, if I don’t make it to the end of what I want to say; I’ll top it up later. However, I am now six days into my NaNo project and at my last count I was at 21k words. I haven’t done any today – I’ve been doing my hair – but I’ll probably do some later. Its not late at the moment.

Anyway, point being, that the point of the project, as you should know by now, is to write 50k words in 30 days. I am almost 43% through. I have been sitting down every night and spitting out an average of 3.5k words each time I do. It feels wonderful!!! Clearly, somewhere in the middle of the editing process of Silk Over Razor Blades I had forgotten how great it feels to just write. To just put the words down on the page and tell a story.

Picked up on Monday 8 November 2010
Okay. Now I’m eight days into the project and at 25,488 words. That’s the half way mark beat in the space of a week. Its been a wonderfully liberating week. I haven’t written like this since my university days and the story is sliding out of my fingers with a speed to match a river in spate. I’m fascinated by the fact that I can still do it and that even now, my head is filled with ideas and plot hooks and character development ideas to keep the novel rolling on. I wonder, when its over, if I’ll be able to keep it up. What I don’t want to happen, is that I get to a point with the NaNo that its done and then I go back to Silk Over Razor Blades and forget how much fun that feeling is. I need to carry this feeling over into that project to ensure it gets the love, attention and care it needs to be ready to present to agents and publishers. That, after all, is what this blog is about.

Anyways, for now, here is an exert of the NaNoWriMo project Clash Of The Animal Kings

Michelle sat down, once more lifting Jumble out of her t-shirt pocket to let him run free. He had to be male, she decided as she watched. Only a male would be able to find such pleasure in chasing a piece of paper up and down the street.
The persistent wind rolled dust, slush and litter along the pavement and Jumble would always find a piece to play with that was much larger than he. Leaping high, he tackled a burger box from above, somehow working his way right into the middle and tearing it to shreds with his paws.
Pieces of managed box sailed up the street but Jumbled followed them only a short way before turning back. He never seemed to go far.
Every time Michelle was concerned he would wander off, he returned and settled himself in her lap, a comforting ball of furry, black warmth against her legs. She stroked him gently, passing the time, occasionally trying her luck and picking up some change.
Suddenly Jumble hissed and dived into the makeshift pocket about Michelle’s waist. She squealed and tried to catch the tiny creature, but the kitten was spry, wriggling around through the gap until he was nestled into the curve of her spine.
“Jumble!” Michelle prepared to stand up, half way to her feet when a great shadow seemed to block the watery light of the winter sun. She looked up, straight into the eyes of a tall, fair haired man in a crisp black suit. A deep purple tie showed through the gap where his shirt lay, which was buttoned right up to the neck. He smiled.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” Warily, Michelle sat back down again, trying to ignore the wriggle of the kitten tucked into her back. “Spare any change, Sir?”
“Why, yes.” The man reached into his trouser pockets, pulling out a handful of small change. He picked out four pound coins, putting the rest back and holding them out. “Here.”
Slowly Michelle held out her hand, unfurling her fingers.
The stranger dumped the change into her palm, stepping even closer until he seemed to loom above her like some blond, charitable giant.
“Thank you.”
The man smiled. “You’re welcome. Anything I can do to help a fellow soul in need, though you don’t look as though you need it.”
Nonplussed, Michelle looked about herself. “What do you mean? Sorry to be rude, but I don’t sit out here in the snow for fun you know.”
That made the stranger laugh. It was a big, deep laugh, perhaps a little too much for a joke that was, in truth, just a hair’s breadth short of rude. “No, I guess not, but you don’t look like you need to be. I can still see the price tag on your boots for instance; are they new?”
Then, in a flash, Michelle understood the reason for the strange looks she had received all through the course of the day. Cursing herself for not realising it sooner, she tucked her hands into her pockets. “The hostel,” she lied easily, thinking fast, “had a new donation come through yesterday. I was one of the lucky ones to get there first.” She shrugged. “I got some new clothes out of it.”
The man nodded as through the explanation made perfect sense. “I thought the hostels were only for those who had been on the streets for a while. You look too fresh to be a veteran.”
“Four years, Sir.” Michelle said softly, shaking her head slightly. “But I try not to count. Its depressing.”
“You must be sick of it by now.”
“Wouldn’t you be?!” With a grimace, Michelle reined herself in. She had no idea why this man so suddenly rattled her, but something about his questions put her on the defensive. She stared up at him, leaning back to get a better look at his face.
The man stepped forward.
She bit her lip. “Well, thank you anyway,” it was a poorly veiled attempt to say goodbye, “this money will find me a meal tonight. I really am grateful.”
A hard, rough chuckle slid out of the man’s mouth and he moved even closer again. “Good. I’m glad. Though, I can get you a meal if you’re hungry. Its no trouble. In fact, I have a little more money here, if you’re interested.”
Alarm bells ran in Michelle’s mind. She stiffened, suddenly frightened as the man reached into another pocket, this one on the inside of his jacket and pulled out an immense wad of fifty pound notes.
He counted them slowly, deliberately, with his hands held low directly in her field of vision. His soft voice counted through the notes one by one from fifty pounds to a hundred pounds. One hundred and fifty. Two hundred. Two hundred and fifty.
As he kept going, Michelle felt her mouth drop open, felt her eyes grow wider and wider as the pile of notes grew bigger and bigger and bigger.
At one thousand pounds, the stranger stopped counting and put the rest back, holding the counted notes before him and waving them like a fan. “There. That should be about enough, right?”
“E-enough for what?” Michelle spoke with effort, flicking her tongue over lips that were sore and dry. Her throat felt filled with sand.
“Enough to convince you to come home with me.”

Chapter Two
Michelle felt fear send a line of cold rippling down her spine. She backed up, scrambling across the floor on her hands and feet, her face turned towards the stranger. She backed right into the library wall, stopping only when she heard the startled yelp of Jumble still pressed into her back.
The man frowned. “Not enough. Okay, let’s try again.” And then, he took the other pile of notes back out of his pocket and began to count again. His eyes remained trained on her face as he counted, his fingers feeling out the notes by touch alone. He reached two thousand pounds and held an even bigger fan forward before his face. “Come home with me.”
Frantic, with Louise and her words still strong in her mind, Michelle tried to look up and down the street. Bizarrely, it was empty! No cars in either direction or any other pedestrian within walking distance. Motion Road was utterly empty but for herself and this wild eyed stranger.
And his eyes most certainly were wild. He began counting again, ignoring Michelle as she frantically shook her head from side to side. He held out an incredible seven thousand pounds and waved it in front of her face, holding the notes beneath her nose like a bottle of smelling salts.
“This is a generous offer,” he murmured softly, a dark menace creeping into his eyes. It was like watching black rain clouds roll forward to cover the sun. “You would do well to rethink your answer.”
Michelle smeared herself into the wall, sighing in relief as Jumble finally freed himself from behind her back. He scrambled free of the clumsy pouch with such a look of reproach in his eyes that he almost looked human. Then he climbed into her lap and sat down, looking up at the stranger with his big, lamp-like eyes.
The man leaned back with a sudden jolt, backing off so fast that he seemed almost a blur. His lips thinned into a grim, angry line and his forehead furrowed as thick, pale eyebrows drew down to hood his dark eyes. “You have a pet.” He observed. “How… nice.” Surprise was in his voice, though it quickly seemed to give way to brisk, businesslike professionalism as he stuffed the money back into his pockets.
“Very well.” He fussed with his suit, needlessly straightening his tie and running both hands back through his cropped blonde hair. “I guess you’re not the one. You must truly enjoy living on the streets if you’d be willing to turn down such a large amount of money.”
Michelle merely watched, subtly leaning back on her hands, ready to kick out with both feet should he come any closer.
Backing off a further two steps, the man made it plain he intended to come no further. Indeed, he was glancing up the street now, checking his watch and making a great show of being on his way. “I hope you’re comfortable,” he said shortly, “and that you enjoy the meal my pocket money brings you. Have a good day.” With that, he walked off, vanishing into the crowd of passing pedestrians that suddenly seemed to appear out of nowhere.
Within seconds he was gone, vanished into the faceless crowds.

Posted in Ileandra's Posts, NaNoWriMo 2010 | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Editing Process


So I’ve started. And part of me regrets it to be honest, since tomorrow starts NaNoWriMo. I feel like I’ve started something and I’m about to drop it in the middle. Frankly put, yes, that is what I’m about to do, but only for a month. If I keep telling myself that, I should be all right. Right?

Anyway, editing process….

I had a sample out yesterday, the same sample that I’m preparing to read at the next LWC meeting. I’m actually looking forward to that. Its starting to feel a whole lot less scary now. I think the very fact that the writing was received well and that the FB project I’m doing with another friend was also well received makes it less frightening. But, this sample, it was a piece I had already been through once, but, sitting in Nero, with a pen, I was still picking up typos, omitted words and things I wanted to change. And though I didn’t rewrite it, particularly, there were lots of things that I fiddled with.

And I think that’s something important that I need to keep an eye on. Realistically, somebody can edit something and edit it and edit it and edit it. There will always be something I want to change. There will always be something that I want to fiddle, or, in the final product, there will always be a small thing I wished I changed. That’s just the way things are. I think the editing process as much as anything else, is knowing when to stop.

Feedback, opinions from other authors, friends, family, strangers, all of it is valuable and all of it is subjective. I know that. Everyone will have different thoughts and ideas and responses to what I write. However, for the novel to remain mine, I have to ensure that I can balance good suggestions for changes against what I want. And I also have to know when to stop. Not necessarily ignoring people and their ideas/suggestions, but understanding that if I try to make changes every time someone suggests it, the editing and rewriting process will never end. And more importantly, knowing that when I’m working on my prose, that I don’t go nuts with chopping, slicing, moving, rewriting each time I look at the same section. I have to reach a point I’m happy and then go forward with that.

Its a confidence issue really. Tell me I’m wrong if you think it, but I’m starting to understand that constantly changing and messing with things, is a manifestation of my fear and lack of confidence in my writing. And I have have to be confident in what I write. I have to be sure in myself that what I have produced is top quality, or else I’m never going to reach the point that I’m comfortable letting agents look at it, to decide if they can represent me. That is the core of it. And yes, though I have to be aware of the market I’m writing for and my audience, I still have to stay true to the original vision I had (and still have!) for this novel. And if I’m not confident enough in that, I run the risk of changing it so much to please others that its no longer mine.

That is not what I want.

So… I think, talking myself around in a huge circle – lol! – taking a step back for NaNoWriMo, particularly when the whole point of that exercise is to enjoy the writing process, rather than worrying about quality, will put me in a better position to come back to Silk Over Razor Blades and maintain faith in what I have done. After all, the NaNo novel will be dear-god awful, I know that. But doing that, and then coming back to something that I have spent time and love and care one, will remind me that I am capable and I am talented enough a writer to show the rest of the world what I can do.

RAR! Pep talk over… bring it!

Posted in Ileandra's Posts, Procrastination, Silk Over Razor Blades | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Writing Embarrassment


Now, I know I shouldn’t be – I was 15! – but looking at the exert of TBATV-1 has put me in a very odd place. Its not that I don’t like it; its the basis of Silk Over Razor Blades after all. And its grown so very much over the years.

Still, I am a little embarrassed by it. I can’t help looking at it and freaking out ever so slightly at how… young it sounds. And its in the first person. I haven’t written in the first person since then; it just doesn’t feel right any more. And its so restrictive. Considering the problems I currently have with POV, it would be harder to keep that consistent in first person. Meh.

Anyways, its there. Read it. Have fun with it. Comment on it. 😛 You know you wanna. If only to giggle at how I used to write!

Posted in Ileandra's Posts, Procrastination, Silk Over Razor Blades | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Read-through Complete


All done. ie in preparation for the mega edit of text cutting doom, I have finished my quick read of the text. There are some parts I love love love and other chunks that need to go. Like I was saying last time, there are at least four chapters now, which need mega chopping to improve the way it flows. I need to work on that as I go and get as much done as I can – sensibly – before next Monday.

Next Monday, of course, being the start of this years NaNoWriMo! ^_^ I’ve got information there about the novel I have in mind for that initiative, though I’ve been thinking about it so much since April – when I first made the decision – that I’m likely to change my mind several times before Sunday night. Though, with daylight savings kicking in, I might actually kick start it before I go to bed then, just get a few hundred words down in the early hours of November 1 2010.

So yes, with that in mind, I have a week to get through at least two chapters – that’s my target – of Silk Over Razor Blades tweaked and made perfect by the end of the week. That should be challenging, but possible, assuming I don’t waste too much time with Wii, Facebook, web comics and food. Mmm food. :p Well, we’ll see. I’m already three the prologue and the .doc file is already splattered with liberal lashings of red correction marker. On the one hand its disheartening to see so much wanting fixing, and on the other, I know that every time I go through this process, the work gets loooooads better!

Oh, and on a bright, shiny and wonderful positive note, I sent a sample of the novel to LWC at the weekend. This is both to get feedback from professional and like minded folk, and to see if my writing, as it is at the moment, can secure me membership. Wonder of wonder, joy of joys, it did! The feedback is all stuff I can work with and makes sense, nothing flying in the face of the novel or what I’m aiming for, and the writing itself is enough to get me an invitation to join the club!

I think this is a bigger deal for me than I thought at first, and that’s linked back to my entry about A Writer’s Biggest Fear. I see myself as a writer and that’s very important. If that was ever compromised, then my career would be on very thin ice indeed. The fact that others are acknowledging me as a writer is a big step for me. I’ve spent so long locked up in a cupboard with my writing just sitting on a PC stored away from all prying eyes. Sharing it with the world is one of those steps towards letting THE WORLD know that I’m a writer. And this is another step on that road. So yes… I’m very pleased. I’m happy, happy, happy in fact! This, in combination with NaNoWriMo is keeping me in a fairly good mood.

Oh, and you know what else put me in a fairly good mood last night? I was reading through the original draft of To Be A Teenage Vampire-1. As in the very first version of this novel that I wrote way back in 1999. If you fancy a treat(ish) I’ll get some of that up here the same time I upload the character profiles for the cast of Silk Over Razor Blades.

Posted in Ileandra's Posts, Silk Over Razor Blades | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

On My Break


So I took a break at the end of my reading, because I needed to sooth my tired little brain.

I mooched across Facebook – evil! – and found a quiz – uh oh. A Harry Potter quiz – double uh oh!
Anyway, procrastination story cut short, this is what happened:


Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

*sigh*
Though on the bright side I’m done with my read through, so now I can start properly fine tuning the novel.

Also, today, suggestions on more pages to add to this, mah blog… pages covering the characters of SORB. Good idea really. I may well do that too before I head out again. ^_^

Posted in FUN!, Ileandra's Posts, Procrastination | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment