Radio Is Back Up


On airIt took a while, a lot of testing and, frankly put, its not as smooth as it once was, but I can now broadcast again. Using Spreaker allows me to keep going and play music for the world as I used to, though, since many of my listeners were based through AL I’ll have to do some quick work to establish my listener base again.

*sigh*

Ho hum. It could be a deal worse. In fact, I’m pleased that I can do this at all, since, for a long while it was looking like I wouldn’t be able to. Do you remember the frustration and irritation earlier on in the year when it all fell to bits? So… this is a nice way to keep going at least in a small way until I have a better alternative.

I’m actually broadcasting now, so this is just going to be quick. But its fully possible for me to fill in the gaps – while songs are playing of course – with osme writing here. I call it ‘an efficient use of dead time.’ Even though it isn’t really dead time.

Hmm, okay, I’m rambling now. I’ll stop, but mainly, I just wanted to say that its back. It does require a little bit more clickage than it did before, but the talk, music and insane babbly goodness is just as good as ever it was! 😀

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I Wrote Something


Yesterday I went on a ride through the park. I took my bike out to enjoy the sunshine and rode all the way down the road, something like three miles (maybe four) to get to the big park around the far end of where I live. It was lovely there. Gorgeous green grass, freshly cut, singing birds everywhere, blossom breaking out on every branch and ducks of all sorts waddling along or roosting near the water. Screaming children, happy couples and groups on blankets were all over the place, along with the pretty standard sights of boys gathered in a clump kicking around a battered football.

It was beautiful. I sat down under a tree and after worrying about whether or not some bird would decide to crap on me, relaxed enough to turn up the music on my mp3 player and just sit.
View of the Park, photo credit: Leah Osbourne, 2011
Its been months since I just sat outside and enjoyed the breeze on my skin. Obviously winter is only just passing, so that’s not too strange, but I didn’t realise how much I missed that feeling. Not in the sun, but in the gentle shade thrown by the willow branches bending down to meet me from twenty feet above. To my left is the bridge which goes over a tiny strip of water where all the geese are gathered and to the right the rest of the water feature stretches out through the rest of the park. Behind me, there’s a path guiding people on various routes through the trees and beyond that is more water and a fountain which sends sparkling jets into the air and dampens everything within ten feet with a cool, sweet smelling mist.

When I turned off the mp3 player and decided to listen to nature instead of Weird Al and Eminem, I was further impressed by how quiet it was. Yes, certainly there were people talking, and ducks quacking and children screaming, but it was so peaceful. Even though I could just see the lines of traffic through the trees I couldn’t hear it. Not even the buses screaming by at 40mph. It was just a wonderful gap to what was actually a pretty damn good day.

It was a pretty good day.

So… I took my pen out of my bag, along with my notebook – that I carry everywhere by the way – and I wrote this while I was sitting on the bench:

Today…
The sun shines bright in a glorious way,
The birds; they sing a song of play,
I wake with a smile beside my man to say;
‘Its gonna be a good day.’

From my desk I watch the sunshine,
As it streams through the windows.
I watch the clock for the magical hour of freedom.
At last it strikes four, I’m out the door,
Singing at the top of my lungs:

Today…
The sun shines bright in a glorious way,
The birds, as they fly, sing a song of play.
I look to the sky and hear myself say;
‘Its gonna be a good day.’

The wind ruffles my hair,
Children’s laughter fills my ears,
The park is filled with the calm of the hour.
With a laugh and a smile, I amble on while
My mantra trips loud off my tongue:

Today…
The sun shines bright in glorious way,
My heart as it soars, sings a song of play!
A chorus of voices around me say;
‘Its gonna be a good day!’

The dusk settles in and fires leap out,
My dinner is cooked on outdoor flames.
The sunshine has flown, and I must go home;
Returning to the arms of my lover.

Today…
The sun shone for me in a glorious way,
My hours were bright, filled with innocent play.
My love, will you join me when I say;
‘It really was a good day.’

And it was. It really, really was! Even coming back and realising that I’d murderised the back tyre of my bike didn’t upset me. I felt too good and too light, which is wonderful after the panic of Tuesday.

Let’s see if I can keep it up!

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Sick With Panic


Panic buttonAnd I really was… its crazed! about the time I was getting ready to run another test on Spreaker on Tuesday I interrupted myself briefly for a cup of tea. Talking to my partner in the interim lead to us looking at websites collating short stories by authors of fiction. There were soundbites as well, beautiful pictures and readings and a layout that was just gorgeous to look at. And, as I looked at some of the other sites featuring the work of more authors who specialise in vamp fiction, I felt cold.

It was in my arms and chest. My head felt light and I swear to you, my vision began to fog up. Obviously that was strange, but the growing sense of nausea which came with it was even worse.

Sick… right down to my stomach. Fear rolled in panic, wrapped in nagging worry that I’m not good enough.

Sick Pig CartoonEveryone gets this. I know that. This feeling is what you sign up for if you want to do something creative in/with your life, but I don’t think I was ready for the sensation just then. Far from ready.

I remember sitting at the computer with my fingers on the home keys and realising that I couldn’t even string a sentence together. It was impossible! My brain was stuck in panic-mode so firmly that I just had to stop. I had to sit calmly and remember how to breathe with deep, regular breaths. And I had to put my head down in case I fell over.

I can’t remember the phrase my partner used, but he summed it up perfectly in just two words. I’m going to call it a ‘confidence meltdown’ because that’s what happened. In a nut shell. Looking at those beautiful sites, reading those words, seeing those pictures, hearing those readings just made me look at my own work and feel rotten. It broke something inside me which the nice weather and good news from work is actually doing a good job of pulling back together. Just the same it was a bit of a wake up. I need to do more work and I need to ensure my priorities are the right way around to do what I want to do. These two things must happen to reduce that feeling. Not get rid of it… I understand enough of my chosen field to know that I can’t ever escape the sensation of ‘I’m not as good as that guy!’ but I can lessen it by working hard.

Go me…!

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The Perils Of Being Keen


I find it funny, but I’m guessing non of you spotted it. Something that in my mad rush to put content up onto this site, that I’ve missed over and over (and over) again since the time I settled on the site’s names. That’s my guess anyway, but let me ask you. Put your hands up – honestly now! – if you spotted the typo which, until today, was glaring angrily out of the title line of this site… on every single page.

Prior to today, the site title had been: ‘Writing: A Conversation Without Interuptions
Today, the title is: ‘Writing: A Conversation Without Interruptions

See the difference? Subtle, but really, how could it take me so long to spot that ‘interruptions’ was spelt incorrectly? And it wasn’t even me who spotted it in the end, it was a fabulous chap at work who just pointed at the page header and said softly “Doesn’t that have two ‘Rs’ in it?”
Yes. Yes, it does.

Oh well. I’ve fixed the problem now and I’ve had a few hours of hanging my head in shame to make up for it.

It does make me stop and think though. Being keen and eager and prioritising this site above my other current projects is all well and good, but if I can’t do it well, I shouldn’t do it at all. Particularly since this site is designed to show case my writing ability. The last thing I want is to litter the place with typos and inconsistencies. Particularly not in my site title! So… this is my little promise to myself going forward: to ensure doubly that I proof read both posts to the blog and page content before posting (unless of course, I’m trying out something where the very point is that I don’t proof read. Such exercises are rare, but I do try them every now and then).
hand typing on keyboardI generally write these entries directly into Word first. I utilise the inbuilt spell checker and the rules there which are capable of catching the occasional grammatical hiccup. However, there is nothing more advanced and more powerful than the human brain, so as well as doing that, I’m going to take care to use my own eyes to check these words, going over posts an hour or two after writing before posting them out. That should cut down on problems. If I can rope willing victims proof readers into checking the posts at the same time, then that can only help.

 
In other news, the site is populating nicely. I will be going back through the pages at some point over the weekend, but to ensure that I’m happy with it and also to see that everything is spelt correctly and makes sense. Who isn’t guilty of writing a sentence of complete gobbledegook when in a rush? As you all know, I touch type and yet even I can come out with a sentence that look something like this:

and heb he webt ti tge sgio abd fiybd iyt tgat ge gad bitgubg ti eat fir dubber

Not good, and all I did then was shift my right index finger one key to the right for my ‘home key.’ Makes sense when you type it… but not when you read it. I doubt there’s anything quite so bad as that within these pages, but it always pays to check, check and check again.

I’m incredibly pleased with the about page – thanks Kyonë! – and the shuffle of the excerpts into a position that makes slightly more sense. That also means when I am able to upload more samples to the site, they will be in one place and easy to find.

Incidentally, with the change of pages and the shuffle of priorities between static pages and blog, I need to know if you’re finding it difficult to locate the blog. The home page and the blog tabs at the top both contain the menu on the right hand side to locate all the blog posts, but the blog is no longer the main focus of this site. Let me know how that feels and whether or not that could be made more user friendly.

There are just a few more pages to add now, and then I can rest easy for a little while. My focus will then shift back towards giving Clash the attention it needs. Its April now and June is marching ever closer. Also, I’ve realised that there’s a whole section of plot that makes no sense – or not as much that it should – and therefore needs a little more exposition. I’m going to take care of that in adding to the end of one chapter and the start of the next, but its going to be tricky to ensure that the text still flows. Particularly since it was written in a rush, against the clock back in November. I need to be sure that I maintain that sort of pace in my writing and that I keep the tension which is building between Eli and Michelle. The explanation of her past should serve to do that, but its so important to the novel as a whole that I really don’t want to get it wrong.

That’s my lot for now… I’m off to check for errors!

 

 

 

 

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Fatigue


Wow… I feel slightly like my brain is about to leak out my ears. Perhaps not the most attractive of images but none the less true. I have spent a very pleasant and productive evening working through the content of this blog and the associated pages.

I’m still having trouble providing proper links to the blog updates themselves, but the rest of the content is coming along nicely. You can get to that now by clicking the links above the tag line:
Find the links

So far for your delight, I have included the Introduction to the site as a whole, the About details, a quick (and non exclusive) Links table and some boring Disclaimers. There’s more to come, including forms to request personalised stories and/or suggest collaborations and more links to the radio.

Radio which, by the way, is finally looking to be getting back on track. I am testing driving a new system and a new piece of kit to get the radio back on the air. So far its selling itself to me massively in that I can record pod casts AND broadcast live if I choose. Joining through the site via my Facebook also allows me to collect data together immediately and, even better, it is possible to link in a piece to allow you the avid reader to listen to podcasts and/or live broadcasts from this site. Not bad eh?
In fact, if you’d like to hear the products of today’s testing so far, here is the second of the pair of tests I did (I’m not allowed to embed the player here – grrr – so you’ll have to follow the link).

Right, that does me for the time being. I was going to say more, but its suddenly gotten later than I was hoping and I still need to get some shut eye. All things being well, however, I can ready myself to go back on the air by Sunday which is my usual broadcasting day. Keep your fingers crossed for me!
http://www.spreaker.com/show/testing_spreaker#

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