Exhausted (but happy)!

Posted on May 1, 2011 by Ileandra Young

Yeah, sorry, its been a little while.
Red party hatLast week was filled with pre-party mayhem (‘What do you mean its this Saturday?!’ I’m totally not ready! Aaah, and now I’m cooking rice and peas! -_-) and now that its over – though it was absolutely wonderful! – I am knackered and achy and not at all ready to go back to work. Its a good thing I’m only there for two days really, isn’t it? 😛

Yes, the party was a fabulous success. For those of you who don’t know, it was a party to celebrate my partner and I moving into our house. Never mind that we did that in January. Friends from all over the place, my family, his family all mixing together in our house to wish us well. I feel very good about it.

I feel even better about it because I had numerous chances during the party to talk about writing. Not only is my neighbour across the street particularly interested in my genre of choice (she is one of the four people now reading Clash for me) but I spoke also with Carol Leeming. Now I know her face and I know her to say hello to, mostly because her interests and my partner’s seem to overlap very often and quite often when we go to an event she is there. I haven’t, however, had much time to speak with her one on one before, because we are both incredibly busy and usually up to something else when we bump into each other.

She first spoke with my dad who, at one point called me over, practically hopping up down, to tell me gleefully that she is a writer too and that she can help me. I couldn’t help smiling, because I’m familiar with Carol’s work. Her name pops up more often than I ever realised and she has always been somebody I’ve wanted to talk to. Its her poetry I heard of first. I’ve written a little bit of poetry in my time – none of it as good as my prose, but that’s about practise – but its not poetry that I think will be the best sell for me. Its the prose. Its the fact that of all the fantasy writers currently out there, I am actually a little bit different as a person.  I am, what one might call, sellable (yikes that sounds odd and even though its true, it would have been nice to understand that here).

I mean think about it…! I am:

  • Young (I may be 27 very soon, but compared to many other fantasy writers out there, I seem to be a real spring chicken)
  • Geeky (you’d think that writing and nerd-dom would go hand in hand, but I cannot name any other fantasy writers who enjoy RPGs, LARPs and video games in quite the same way I do)
  • Black (this one is most interesting since when you envision a fantasy writer, I can almost guarantee you would not, first of all, think of a black woman)
  • Bisexual (personally, at first, I felt this was irrelevant, but already in some of my writing, relationships between my characters seem to drift away from the norms and be a little different from what people expect.  I can only assume my sexuality is something to do with that)

Handshake iconSo there is enough there to begin building my identity and my ‘persona’ if you like and that’s one of the things I would most like help with. I signed up as a member of the Mainstream Partnership this morning and I’m looking forward to receiving the information emails about events, training, opportunities and networking. Frankly put, its just what I’ve been looking for and I’m fascinated its taken me so long.

So, the point is that I’ll keep you posted on how I get on. I also need to write those articles for Inspired Quill. I’ve had my break now and its about time that I got the hell on with it really. I don’t want to forget and then never, ever get it done; I would love to be associated with the IQ Blog and have been meaning to do it for quite some time. Its about time I pulled my finger out.

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Proofreading, Spam & Easter

Posted on April 24, 2011 by Ileandra Young

Yes, its a jumble of topics, but I have a lot I want to talk about today. Apparently.

Check sheetFirst of all, proofreading. Despite my initial resistance, kicking, screaming and general making a fuss, my partner has convinced me that getting some fresh eyes to proofread Clash is a good idea. Not only that, but they should do it before I do the last pieces of work I was planning to do in a week’s time. Well how about that?

I though he/it/everything was crazy at first, but the more I think about it, the more I realise that actually… its a good idea. So… proofreaders. I’m still on the lookout for willing victims volunteers to look at Clash of the Animal Kings for/with me. So far I’ve sent it to two of the three people who have agreed to take a look and, can I just say, that my fingers were shaking as I typed up the email that it was going to be attached to. Crickey, but it was hard to hit that ‘send’ button too. I know that this is the next step and I know that if I’m going to get anywhere that I need to do as much testing as possible. Hell, I know that if I don’t do this, the novel won’t be as good as I can make it, but its still nerve racking. I did distract myself, while doing it, by organising some of my music library in preparation for tonight’s show. It should be a cracker considering I can’t talk all that well. -_-

Anyway, Clash is now being looked at by eyes other than mine. And I don’t mean just an excerpt like what you fine people are able to see on this site, but the entire novel, start to finish, warts and all. I’m terrified. And indecently excited. And confused by that.

Spam figureNot that sort of spam. -_-

I think this site is starting to get noticed now. Not in a massive way, but enough that spambots are starting to realise I’m here. It was only a matter of time – I know that. I think The Ice Wolf Tavern was running for a good few months before it started to be hit by spam membership requests. I remember I was so happy at the time, thinking all these people wanted to be a part of the group. Then, slowly, it became more and more obvious that they weren’t even real people. That was annoying. So I got pretty damn good at protecting the site and keeping the bots out.

I mention this, because today, signing in to take a look at what’s going on here and to write this post, I saw five comments awaiting moderation. That was quite nice, I thought ‘Ooh, yes. Let’s see who these are then.’

Well. -_- Three of them were written in (fake) Greek and another two were just rammed with links to god knows what sort of sites. Nothing to do with my work or anything I’m affiliated with in any case. Which is annoying. So I got rid of the lot and just settled in to accept the fact that I had no new comments today.

I do like comments by the way, people! I like the interaction between yourselves and me; that’s a big reason why my radio show is on Facebook as quite interactive. So… if you have stuff to say to me, feel free to say so! Every one of these posts has a comment block at the bottom. talk to me.

Happy late easter!!And yes, I suppose it has to be mentioned. Happy Eat-Lots-Of-Chocolate-Day. Well… I wish it was for me anyway. My throat is still a mess so I can’t really eat much (don’t really want to either; appetite is gone) and chocolate would just clog me up. I did have a little bit earlier, but I didn’t get far. It was one of those hollow chocolate bunny things. I’ve managed his bottom half so far, but his head, ears and neck are still in tact. That’s not much of an attempt is it? Grr.

Well I’ll make it up tomorrow – hopefully – when my throat hurts less (fingers crossed).

Right, I have a radio show to prep for now, so I’m going to do that. Why not listen in? I’m running my musical alphabet today and I’m onto the letter H. Stories, songs and artists all linked to the letter H. It will be fun! 😀

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Aaaaaaaaaaand done! ^_^

Posted on April 22, 2011 by Ileandra Young

Thumbs up iconEeeyup. Something good has come of being ill after all. Which is nice. Yesterday I wrapped up my edit of Clash Of The Animal Kings. Eeeyeeeeah! I pulled it all together and about 7ish last night it was done. I celebrated by watching The Butterfly Effect and trying to come up with another project to take up my time for at least a week before I risk giving it one last run through. But then, happy-happy-joy-joy, I’ll be able to head over to the website which will allow me to generate my proof copy. I’m really looking forward to it.

So far, it seems somewhat dreamlike, but I think, finally, when I get the package through the letter box and I can see my name on the cover, I’ll know that I can do it.

Though I tell you what; my confidence had a massive boost yesterday!

I finished Clash, so, of course, the first thing I did, was reopen the .doc files for SORB and read through what I was doing back in October. The annoying part of that is that I now need to find what the hell I did with my notes from that read through. -_- Because those are the last finishing touches before I force myself to stop editing. Because, of course, you can edit for ever and ever (and ever!) and never call something done. I need to be able to call SORB done soon.

Anyway, the confidence thing, that came from not only reading through SORB, but reading through the starting 14k words of SORB’s sequel; Walking The Razor’s Edge (WTRE) that I did around the same time. There are two versions but the most recent version dated May 2010 was filled with delicious lines that just made me curl my toes. I had forgotten how firmly and how strong I’d made my decisions about what these vampires are. I had forgotten exactly how I’d portrayed so some of the other vampires too, based back in London. No spoilers here, but their powers and their leader actually made me shiver when I re-read it. That’s a good sign. Couple that with the fact that I’m feeling so good about Clash, then I’m in, generally, a very good mood.

I think I’ll put an excerpt up of WTRE actually. I’ll put up the little section that I was reading yesterday though BEWARE as it does contain spoilers. Reading this excerpt will give away little snippets – certainly not all by any means, but enough – about SORB as the story for WTRE picks up a day or two after SORB ends. The flow is continuous and though SORB is a complete, stand alone story, the set up is there for WTRE to follow.

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*whimper*

Posted on April 21, 2011 by Ileandra Young

So I am officially an idiot.
No… no, don’t try to make me feel better, I am an idiot. I’ve been ill for two days. Well… really three as I felt it creeping up on me on Monday night. Like a sensible person I took Tuesday off work. And Wednesday. I stayed home like a good girl, took it easy, enjoyed mooching around in my slippers and dressing gown and falling in and out of what was, apparently, much needed sleep. Today…? Today I decide to go to work.

Never mind that its the last day before the four day weekend and that I can barely speak. Never mind that nobody at work expects me to be there as I’m very clearly ill. Oh no. I drag myself out of bed, shower, clean my teeth, skip breakfast – it hurts too much to swallow – and stumble into the office.

To say they were surprised to see me is a wild understatement.

I managed an hour and fifteen minutes before I just had to give it up. It was hot in there and uncomfortable and I kept needing to talk. And because I was at work, there were serious queries that I had to work on which needed a head not addled by painkillers. I couldn’t even drink the water I was given. And then… the final indignity. I coughed or sneezed or something and right up into my mouth came a massive lump of something hard, lumpy, white and totally minging. I have no idea what it was, but it came out of my body. That was pretty much my cue to leave. I didn’t look over much at the gunk I had to spit into a bloodied tissue (I’ll explain the blood in a second), I just wrapped it up, shoved it in the bin and told my manager – mainly through awkward sign – that I had to leave.

Sick Pig Cartoon>And here I am. I’m going back to bed in a second; I want to lie down. The annoying thing is, my mind is fine. Its just my body which is stiff and sore and everything from the shoulders up which is laced with pain. I can’t even have any more pain killers yet; its too close to my last dose.

Oh and even more annoying, while I was in the office, I happened, by chance to touch the second piercing in the lobe of my right ear. Something came away on my fingers but I ignored it because I was trying to work a computer. But then, I did it again and this time saw that my fingers were stained red. Blood. Blood freaking everywhere! I mopped up as much as I could with a tissue, but it just seemed to keep coming, so I pulled out the earring – that hurt like buggery! – and dropped the stud and the butterfly into a cup of boiled water so I could keep working. When I’d done that and finished with the computer, I took everything, cup, tissue, earrings into the bathroom to take a look at the damage.

Fuck knows how it happened, but there is a MA-HUUUSIVE gash on the back of my lobe, right across the point where the piercing comes through. Is not very deep, but it is quite wide and was pooling blood across my earlobe. *sigh* Its stopped bleeding now – I think – but I’m going to have to keep an eye on it if I want to keep the piercing. Its annoying, because the lobe piercing should have been fine. They’re easy! In fact, it was the cartilage piercing in the other ear that I was worried about but now I’ll have to watch out for both in case they get infected.

Its just not been my week has it?

Though… on the plus side (I WILL find a plus side, damnit!), in the time I’ve been locked up in the house, in between rounds of sleep, I’ve been working on Clash. I’ve rewritten huge chunks of four chapters and, if you’d believe it, I’m very nearly done. At this rate, I should be able to go through it a second time to be sure I’m happy with it and still be ready for my June deadline. Woo.

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The 9-5 Grind

Posted on April 15, 2011 by Ileandra Young

ClockI was always quite pleased that I don’t actually work 9-5.
Well… 8-4 isn’t actually all that different, but there’s even a song about 9-5 which just sums it all for me.

That’s part of why this week has been so hard.

I might not have told you all, though I mentioned it on the radio last week; my day job has changed. Its just a secondment, but I’m working for another team within my business for six months, possibly more. It required me to up sticks from my old team super fast last Friday – which was actually my last day – and move my stationary, my cute little toys, my chair backrest and drawers to the other side of the building so I could start afresh on another team.

Its been pretty good so far, mainly in that I’m enjoying the fact that its something utterly new, and the fact that for the first time in four and a half years, I’m not the one with all the answers. I didn’t realise how wearying it could be to have people pressing you for answers and solutions day in, day out, until I didn’t have to do it any more. On the flip side of that, I really miss my old team. Really miss them. They’re such a lovely bunch and every now and then I still look over where I can see them laughing and joking. And yet my new team is lovely. Its a very different type of humour, but its definitely there and there’s certainly no worry of me not feeling welcome. They’ve swept me right into the fold and made me feel right at home.

Anyway, with all that going on, its made me tired. I trooped back home today (at 5.15 instead of 4.15 which is only a small difference, but enough to be really noticeable) and wanted to fall over and sleep. Not tired so much as pleasantly weary. Its hard to describe, but my brain wanted a chance to rest while my body was lively and wanting to hop up and down. I did neither of those things, instead spent a good deal of time trying to calm my brain by talking quietly with my partner and enjoying shiggles* with Miranda. Then another friend came by, one I’ve not seen for ages and we all spent a pleasant evening just being daft and talking.

The grind, however, is just the right word. I’m writing this as much to share it with you as to remind myself of the fact that this is not what I want. Many of my new team mates are key time or part time. Some of them only work a three day week. Even with the extra money this position gives me, I’m in no position to consider that right now. I need the work I have to enable me to live and eat and sleep in relative comfort. But this is just a job. I’m reminding myself that its not my career. I have been working with my employer for almost six years now – in fact it will be six years as of July 18. I headed there less than three days after my graduation ceremony from university and haven’t had a chance to look back. I have been in the same team for four and a half of those six years. It might be warm and it might be comfortable but the truth of the matter is simply this; that’s called stagnating.

Not to say that I haven’t enjoyed myself and learned a great deal, because I have. However even my manager acknowledged towards the end that the time was long passed for my skills to be recognised elsewhere and for me to move on. I know this new role is just a secondment, but it does put me in a good position for the future.

‘But why?’ I hear you ask. ‘Why are you so worried about this when you want to be a writer?’

Well… for starters, I am a writer. There is no longer any want about it. As soon as the opportunity came up I was telling my new team about my projects here, my business card is in plain sight on my desk (with extras if anybody wants to take one), and I was offering to help write dialogue for a short film being made by HR. I am making my true skills known.

Tick green modern 2Yes, I have project management, people management and complaint handling skills. Yes, I’m trained as a classic letter writer with nine years customer service experience at my back. Yes, I am university educated and pro actively bettering myself through additional NVQs and Apprenticeships. Yes, I even have experience in leading a difficult team of 17 heads.
But all that… great as it may sound… that’s not me. All that is simply what allows me to come home at night and sit down at my computer, guilt free and tap away at the keyboard for five hours. All that is what helps pay for the electricity to do that, what keeps me fed while I do that, is what gives me a roof and a bed to sleep in too.

So, the point of all this, the reason I am so excited, is because the more I progress, the more people I meet, the more I expose my name, the quicker I will be in a position to take a little bit more time over my writing. A better base rate of hours may mean that I can afford to reduce my working hours and spend more time on my writing. It also means that my ability to live while I write remains in tact because, let’s face it; the 9-5 grind may be soul sapping and boring, but it beats the living hell out of working 80 hour weeks in a supermarket just to afford toilet paper. Its a damn sight better than not having a job at all!

At least this way, after I’ve spent eight hours in the office tapping out letters and fielding customers, I can spend another five hours at home, safely looking after my real job.

 

 

 
*A short term of the colloquialism ‘shits and giggles.’

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