RS: The ‘D’ In #BDSM – Part Three, Discipline And Rewards


I suppose it would be kind to leave a warning here before you start. Many, if not all, of the links (and pictures) in this series of posts are totally NSFW. If you want to have a look, do, by all means, but don’t be surprised if you find naked boy bits at the other end . . . or girl bits.
Happy? Let’s go.

line break, swirling graphics, from openclipart

Last week I talked about punishing naughty submissives. But, the D in BDSM also includes rewards. After all, how is your submissive going to know they’re doing a good job unless you reward them?

As with every other part of the lifestyle I’ve discussed, rewards can and do vary greatly. They depend on the individual, circumstances and personal preferences.

But . . . ! Here are some examples I know of that many, if not all Dominants may use at one point or another.

Play Time

Crack out the toys, it’s time to play! Vibrators, massager, fun gels and tingly liquids, all these things might be something a submissive enjoys and that might be given to them as a gift for a job well done. Among the list of ‘play things’ also come other playmates. Including another man or woman in play may be just the sort of thing a submissive likes: someone to play with (or on) as a reward.

Cuddle Time

Everyone likes a good cuddle, right (I do!), but sometimes there just isn’t time for this within a scene. After care is a big part of any BDSM lifestyle and while cuddling a weary or well used submissive might just be the next step in looking after them, who can deny the pleasure gleaned from a good ‘well done’ hug?

Pleasure

Lots and lots of it. Physical pleasure is often used as a tool and no less as a reward. Whatever it is a sub likes best, whatever sends them spinning off into ecstasy-land, that might be one of the items in a Dominant’s arsenal to reward a good job.

Physical Treats

This may sound a little like ‘paying for services’ but I’ve heard tell of Dominants buying new collars for submissive who please them. A piece of jewellery, a particular food, a book, a DVD, it can anything at all.

‘Well Done Pet’

Sometimes the only thing needed is acknowledgement of a job well done. I know I get a glow when the Funk Master thanks me for dinner or notices the washing up. I’m sure it’s no different to a submissive. A ‘thank you,’ a ‘good body/girl’ or a ‘well done’, all of these things can be rewards and are often used as such.

line break, swirling graphics, from openclipart

This list could keep going. Never mind all the other gubbins such as spanking, pain, bondage and forced pleasure. Yes, I do recall these things popped up in last week’s run down of punishments, but one man’s meat is another man’s poison. You’ve heard of that right? So it is with reward and discipline.

Some people may love a trip to Tate Modern after all. 😉

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IY: Mah Plans 26/10/15


I’ve had another fantastic weekend. Ups and downs—as ever—but largely a nice time. I’m always pleased when that happens, because it puts me in a good mood for the rest of the week and makes writing easier. Which is good . . . I have a lot to get done. 😉

Actions Last Week

~Edit complete deep edits on ‘Episode Three’checking off feedback
Nope. I got stuck when the depth of ‘do over’ required on a couple of the middle sections. I’ll need another week to get that polished off.

~Do the audio read of ‘Walking The Razor’s Edge’ at least a quarter the book
Sorted. That’s 21,000 words read in the Word Lady’s beautiful monotone drone. It’s strange, but it really does help to hear it read that way. Obviously it would be better if I read it complete with inflection and tone, but I’m not convinced I’d read what was on the page, rather than what I thought was there. This way, I know it’s a direct reading of the text without my brain filling in gaps or glossing over errors.

~Finalise new concept for ‘Episode Three’ cover design
Yeeeesssssss . . . not sure how I’m going to execute it though. The idea may be beyond my current skill set. Hmm. We’ll see. I’ll give myself another week to play about with the idea.

Activities For This Weekblank calendar from OpenClipArt

  • Complete another 20,000 words of ‘Walking The Razor’s Edge’ via audio read.
  • Play with new concepts for ‘Episode Three’ cover design
  • Finish deep edits on ‘Episode Three’

Thoughts…

Half term really did a number on me. I underestimated just how much I really do get done in those 2-3 hours and the time I thought I’d have on Tuesday and Friday I didn’t get in full. Never mind . . . back to normal now and it’s time to catch up. I’m looking forward to it.

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IY: Fantasy Creatures – Elves – The Lady Trya Fenwyn


I LARP as an elf. It is an interesting experience as my interpretation of the species is very much coloured by Tolkien and more recent showings of elves in the media. The first time I played Trya live was September 2009 (can hardly believe it was that long ago!) but I had played her before that on my online RPG the Ice Wolf Tavern.

When I went to Herofest for the first time, given that my RP background was DnD and play-by-post, message board based games, I found it important to have a background for her. So . . . I wrote one.

I want to share it with you because I find it interesting and it’s also a keen indicator of how my writing has evolved over the six years (!!!) since I wrote it.

Enjoy.

I loved a man and I lost him; my father made sure of this. And yet, I cannot hate him, though all the free peoples of Orin Rakatha would not spurn me for it. I cannot hate him, I love him still, as I love my lost soul mate; my lost Solen.

*/*\*

Trya was born the youngest daughter of Aranthar, self-proclaimed Elven lord. While Aranthar was undoubtedly powerful and strong, his desire for power and far-reaching relations with other lands and other towers, led to a vast rift between himself and his youngest born.

Aranthar wished for Trya to learn the ways of healing and song and dance, much like her mother had done and like her older sisters had before her. For this was the very thing which had attracted Aranthar to Ereniel in the first place; causing him to hunt her, woe her, marry her and finally, with much bragging and pompous ceremony, bed her.

While Ereniel was overjoyed at the births of her twelve daughters, Aranthar, who had always wished for a son was once more disappointed when Trya was born. Some believe, this is why he protested, so adamantly to her learning the ways of the bow and the sword, rather than healing and song. There are also rumours that Aranthar simply believed his youngest daughter to be unlucky, as she was the thirteenth of his children. Whatever the case, when Trya first expressed a desire to learn the same skills as her father’s guards and soldiers, she was denied.

So, Trya learned in secret. While in the open, she would pander to the will of her father and learn whatever he wished, at night, she would slip out into the training grounds and learn the art of swordplay. It was something she had a natural knack for, a gift which was marvelled at by her teacher, a human man named Solen. Solen was a man she had seen grow from a child, for Trya was present when he arrived lost, cold and dying on Aranthar’s doorstep. It was she who bathed his many hurts and sat by his bed until the fever lifted from his body. It was also Trya who watched him grow, watched him become a fine, strong, smart and skilled grown man. Though it was a strange thing, Trya grew to love Solen and spent more and more time with him out on the training grounds.

Solen had reached his thirty-eighth year when Aranthar finally found out what was happening. He locked Trya away, keeping her away from all eyes in a small room with no windows and but a single door through which food would be passed three times a day. Though she begged and pleaded for forgiveness and freedom, Aranthar would hear none of it. Instead, he told Trya, in a fit of malicious spite, that her Solen would be sent away on a trade mission, one that would take him very many months to complete. In that time, Aranthar would find a ‘suitable match’ for his youngest born, who was ‘worth more’ than the unflattering attentions of some brutish human soldier.

Trya’s entreaties fell on deaf ears. Though her sisters would come to see her on occasion, none of them would go against the will of their father; more than happy to enjoy the luxuries brought on by his elevated status and lucrative trade agreements with other towers. Thus, Trya was trapped in her prison for almost six months.

During these six months, Aranthar was most busy. He fell into talks with the Dai-Fah-Dyne convinced that he would be able to arrange mutually agreeable terms between them and himself. Aranthar arranged a marriage. Through this marriage, he secured favourable rates and unlimited, uninhibited travel of his own people through Dai-Fah-Dyne lands. All he needed, to seal this deal, was to offer his daughter’s hand in marriage to one of the more notable names within the tower. Well, his other twelve daughters were fair and obedient and, frankly put, better suited to Elven suitors. Trya however, coarse at times, boorish at times, and certainly not as feminine as her sisters, would perhaps suit these predominantly human traders very well. Aranthar was quick to arrange the marriage, offering up Trya with no word to her or consideration for her feelings. Solen, after all, was gone, and with this marriage, soon she too would be out of his hair.

News of the marriage began to spread and all of Aranthar’s people prepared for the wedding.

Very many miles away, the news even reached the ears of Solen, who, fearful for his Elven love – for he felt for her, as strongly as she felt for him – left his mission to return to Aranthar’s Estate.

Weeks passed. The wedding drew closer, and Trya, hearing the rejoicing outside her room fell further and further into despair. She stopped allowing visits from her sisters and refused to eat, claiming that she would rather die than betray Solen. When the lack of food began to tell on her and show on her weakening body, she was tied to a chair, by a knot of her sisters and force-fed, while her father watched, smiling.

It was only Ereniel who finally took pity on her daughter. She remembered well the joy of being in love and the agony that could come of being separated from that love – you see, Aranthar was not her first choice of husband either.

She crept into Trya’s room in the dead of night, gave her a single sword, two daggers and a cloak. In a bag was a small supply of food and directions to a place where she might hide and escape the attentions of Aranthar and, hopefully, meet up with Solen. Ereneil arranged for separate messages to be sent to Solen advising him meet up with Trya at the Recruitment. Gratefully Trya took these things, kissed her mother goodbye, and made her way from Aranthar’s vast estate. She crept stealthily past his guards, briskly knocking the heads of those who came too close to discovering her escape.

Ereniel, however, had not accounted for the cunning nature of her husband. Using his own trusted men, Aranthar intercepted Ereniel’s messengers and set his own people in their place. As soon as Solen came close to Aranthar’s land, he was captured, brutally beaten and finally killed.

*/*\*

Trya blissfully unaware of what has happened to her human love, makes her way to the recruitment, as per her mother’s instruction. There she waits for Solen to arrive, hoping that, together, they will be able to join another faction and stay well, well away from Aranthar, the Dai-Fah-Dyne and anybody else who means to get in the way . . .

That background gave me six wonderful years of fabulous roleplay with some huge highlights that actually stretched beyond me to the game plot itself. I’m pleased that the game writers were able to take my words and have fun with them and, as a result give other people a chance to play around.

I’m also glad that I’ve been able to play Trya live and get a sense of how she feels, thinks and acts. It means, when I finally come to write her story—not this one, the original story from The Ice Wolf Tavern—I’ll have a much easier time of staying true to her story.
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DSB: Writing Priorities


Hi folks, Leah here stopping in to talk to you for a little bit.

The past couple of weeks across the blog have been wonderful. Both Ileandra and Raven have been able to tell you about fantastic changes in what they’re doing and improvements to the creative process. I have had a great time putting words together and learning from various podcasts, blog posts and books.

The advice that comes out most from my learning and research is that writers write . . . I know that sounds obvious, but I think one of the reasons that I was so distressed a short while ago is because I wasn’t actually writing much. Sure, I’d do blog posts four times a week, but in terms of producing new books? Not so much.

As I jiggled my day around to get more sleep and incorporate more exercise, I also began to look more closely at how I spent the time I have available to me outside those things. This is what I discovered, in order of most time spent while I’m at the laptop:

  • Blogging
  • Facebook
  • Writerly networking
  • Writerly admin (KDP, Smashwords, formatting etc)
  • Writerly emails
  • Writing books

Yeah . . . look at that list! Right at the bottom is the thing I should be doing the most of: writing books. No wonder I was so stressed!

So I decided to shake things up a bit. Those of you who know me personally may have noticed my activity on Facebook fall, as well as my disappearance from Twitter. I’m still there, but I no longer take part in things like #WritingChat (though I’m hoping to return very soon). I’ve also been lax about many emails sitting in my inbox, because I’ve told myself ‘No, no, write first, then check your mail.’

Insofar as my wordcount and productivity, that’s great! For the blog, not so much. Instead of having fun/fan posts lined up in advance, I find myself writing them the night before again, and panicking over the detail I want to include and/or the researching required to make sure the post delivers what I promise.

Not so great.

I’ve also noticed that while this blog has a pretty consistent level of views and new follows, I seem to be attracting other writers. Let me stress that this is not a bad thing. It’s just . . . marketing is so hard and difficult, I don’t want to make things harder for myself by pouring myself into something that isn’t reaching the people I want to reach to further my career.

So it’s time for another change.

While I adore you, my writing buddies, you’re not the people I’m writing for (unless you are?). I’m writing for readers and I need to divert a portion of my efforts towards finding them.

I’ve decided not to drop this blog, but to scale it back. Four posts a week (lately five) is pretty ambitious and that is writing time I should be devoting to producing more stories. In November, when things go nutty for NaNoWriMo, I’m going to drop back to two posts a week, these on a Monday. I’m going to alternate between Ileandra and Raven, meaning that their goals will now stretch across a fortnight, rather than a week. I’m not sure how this will work out yet, but I want to test drive the idea for a couple of months and see if I can stay on top of all the different threads. The ‘fun’ or ‘fan’ post that usually comes in the morning will continue to do so, but every other Monday.

In the background of all this, I’m planning to do more work on the author sites belonging to Ileandra and Raven. They are mostly static at the moment (and in need of a LOT of work), but it would be lovely to see some traffic there. I’m going to generate that, hopefully, by moving some of this blog’s content to those sites. Things like reviews will still appear here, but excerpts, cover reveals and competitions I’m going to shift there. I’ll then reblog the posts here so nobody misses out.

It’s a big change, I know, but my reading is leading me to be slightly more business minded and I need to be sensible about how and where I spend my time. Yes, the amount of time I have will change constantly, but the fact that I can choose what to do with it remains the same.

It’s up to me to make the right choice. ^_^

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RS: I Haz Planz 22/10/15


Aaaaaaaaand that’s another week gone by. Woohoo!

May seem odd to you, starting my week in the middle of the working week, but arranging my time like this actually works out quite nicely.

Actions Last Week

blank calendar from OpenClipArt~Check proof copy of ‘Slippers & Chains: Second Base’
Sorted and I’m super chuffed! Only seven errors that needed to be corrected and simple enough problems that I’ve corrected the lot.

Both the Kindle and the CreateSpace file are complete!

All I need do is wait for one last email from my cover designer and then I can set up all the pre-orders and let the rest happen automatically. Wheeeeee!

~Write 10,000 words of ‘Slippers & Chains: Picking Out Curtains’ ^_^ I know, I know, but at my current wph that should be eeeeeeeeeeasy, even at half an hour a day.
At the time of writing this post, I’m at 12,963 on ‘Picking Out Curtains.’ I’m pleased because each time I sit down to write, the words just spill out of me. It’s wonderful knowing where I’m going and I find that knowing where I want to be before hand has led to a much cleaner draft. Not in terms of SPaG (that’s a mess, because of the speed I’m writing at), but the story itself, the plot, the arc, the structure. All being well, I’m going to need far less structural editing than usual because I have most of that stuff sorted out now. It’s actually really liberating and is making it easier for me to just sit and write. I worry much less and my current production rate is 3,069 words per hour. Not bad, right? ^_^

~Edit my Smexxy Snippet.
Done and read aloud using Word’s read feature. The piece is now ready to send to my alpha readers (or my Bed Buddies. If you’d like to be one of the people who gets all my stories before everyone else does, so you can give opinions and feedback, I’d love to hear from you!).

I’ve even started writing another one; this with a Femdom angle—something I’ve not done much of before. It’s interesting, let me tell you . . . talk about a weird head space!

 Activities For This Week

  1. Write another 10,000 words of ‘Slippers & Chains: Picking Out Curtains’
  2. Complete the first draft of my second Smexxy Snippet
  3. Outline/plan the next eight Smexxy Snippets

Thoughts . . .

checking off feedbackNeedless to say, I’m very pleased with the affects of outlining on my creative process. Not only is it allowing me to keep my productivity up, but I find that logging the work I do and sprinting in short bursts is producing much more than sitting at the computer for hours on end, bashing away at the keys with only half an idea of where I’m going. Each time I sit down, I’ve added at least another 500 words to the story. It’s incredible!

I don’t think I’ll finish by November—maybe that was a bit too optimistic—but I’ll be a good way along before NaNoWriMo starts. In fact, I’ll be far enough along that I may even let Ileandra write something for that month, to give myself a break. We’ll see.

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