Phew! Been a while since I talked about fantasy creatures, hasn’t it? Sorry about that. I’m back now and ready to go through the ‘how to spot a werewolf’ stuff.
There are five handy ways to spot such a creature, most seem pretty self-explanatory, but I’ll list them here for your
Pays Strong (Slightly Obsessive) Attention to the Lunar Cycle
Everyone knows that werewolves are governed by the room, right? That once a month these fantastical creatures slip their human skin and walk the night as huge wolves. Well, in order to maintain any sort of social life, or indeed stay hidden from nosey neighbours and fussy friends, a werewolf must know exactly when the full moon is due and when it ends. Some may equate this knowledge of the moon’s movements to a lady’s *ahem* own cycle *ahem* but think about it? Once a month we turn into crazed, hormone driven beasts . . . but we always know when it’s coming, right? Werewolves are no different.
Enjoys Raw Meat
Everyone likes a good steak, right? What do you mean you’re vegetarian? Anyway, similarly, everyone knows that the best steak is beautifully charred on the outside and a liiiiiiiiiiitle bit pink on the inside. Werewolves take this to a new extreme; they are the types who instruct their waiters ‘Drag the beast in, let it look at the oven in fear, then bring it out to me!’ They don’t just like it rare, they like it rare and kicking. Look out for those gulping down prime cuts with red rimmed mouths. If you can’t prove it’s wine, maybe it’s time to switch tables.
Hairy, Hairy, Hairy!
Dogs are hairy. Wolves are hairy. It’s no big surprise that wolves are hairy too. Look for eyebrows that meet in the middle, excessive body hair across back, chest and stomach as well as patches of hair on the insides of the palms. This may be tricky to spot, but if a handshake with your new boss sends a tickling chill up and down your arm, just have a quick look . . . and crack out the classified ads.
Violent and/or Bad Tempered
Maybe this links in with the lunar cycle, but I know I’d be annoyed if, once a month, I was forced to slip my clothes and run about the woods like an animal—as an animal. Werewolves are known for their beastly tempers and prone to outbursts of rage at any moment. Do your darndest to stay on their good sides or else, you know, lock your doors at night.
No surprises here, right? My old cat used to freak out the second she the neighbours front door opened and they had a chihuahua. -_- Imagine the fright a cat might get upon smelling one of the biggest, baddest canine predators around. And we all know cats loooove people, right? So keep an eye on the little feline warning systems. If they yowl, scratch and make themselves scarce, it might be time for you to do the same.