RS: The ‘B’ In #BDSM – Part Two, But Why?!


I suppose it would be kind to leave a warning here before you start. Many, if not all, of the links in this series of posts are totally NSFW. If you want to have a look, do, by all means, but don’t be surprised if you find naked boy bits at the other end . . . or girl bits.
Happy? Let’s go.

line break, swirling graphics, from openclipart

girl in purple asking questions

Credit: scout

So we’ve established some of the tools used in bondage. Be aware that the list I gave you last week is by no means exhaustive, and that there are tonnes more things you can use (though I don’t think anybody in the know really recommends cable ties). Scarves, ties (like neck ties), hair bands, chains . . . there’s all sorts to play with, but what is the thrill behind getting tied up? Or in doing the tying?

What is it about bondage that brings people back to it over and over? That generates books and films and toys worth billions of pounds? Well . . .

Being Tied

Well . . . let’s try an experiment. Close your eyes. Imagine the sexiest person you’ve ever known is right beside you and intent on doing all manner of things to pleasure themselves and you. Nice right? 😉 Anyway, once you have that clear in your head, put your hands behind your back and touch your wrists together. If you really want to feel it, loop something about your wrists, like a scarf or a hair band—don’t hurt yourself (!) but give yourself the pseudo-sensation of being restrained.

Now just sit there (or stand). How do you feel? Where is your mind taking you? What sort of devious things might the uber-sexy beast you’ve imagined decide to do to you? And can you stop them with your hands positioned as they are?

. . . some people feel nothing from bondage. It’s just not their thing. For others, it can be pleasurable for any number of reasons, including but not exclusive to:

  • The sensation of restriction is pleasurable
  • Relinquishing control of pleasurable/cathartic/relaxing/freeing
  • Knowing someone else is responsible for your pleasure
  • Playing about with a taboo or fetish is fun in of itself

Doing The Tying

But what if control is important to you? What if the idea of being at the mercy of another person fills you with fear rather than pleasure. Or what if, you simply don’t like the feel of leather on your skin?

Try this experiment: imagine that the same super-sexy person is waiting for you to do something to them. That they trust you enough to let you restrict their movement (and in some cases their sight and/or the ability to speak!). Now imagine that—pending previous consent from both parties!—you are free to do whatever you like to bring about pleasure for yourself and that person.

For some, tying up their partner is about the control inherent in the act. For others, the thought of being able to bring about pleasant feelings for themselves or another is the key. As I mentioned last week, for some it may simply be to see the end result: a nice harness or belt formed of knot work.

There is a lot of trust involved in this activity. From both parties. In the case of the person being tied (usually a submissive/bottom/slave) trust is in the form that they won’t be hurt or mistreated. For the person doing the tying (dominant/top/master) they trust that their partner will be honest and self-aware enough to let them know immediately of any problems or if something becomes too much to take.

Next week, I’ll talk about the where.

Raven's Signature In Black

Advertisements

About Raven ShadowHawk

I take great pleasure in writing erotica and am merely one side of the proverbial coin. My other half, 'Ileandra Young' writes fantasy and the occasional comedy piece. My six-part series 'Meeting Each Other' is available in full, through Amazon and Smashwords while my debut novella 'Sugar Dust' is now re-released (!) available through Amazon via Little Vamp Press.
This entry was posted in Raven's Posts and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s