I’ve got half a week off coming up. DSB has a LARP which will take me away for the latter part of the working week and the whole weekend. Wonder how I’ll do before then? First, let’s look back.

Actions Last Week

~Read the next section of ‘Dead And Alive Episode Two’ at PWG
Yes. And . . . I dunno. I’m upset. No, not upset—that sounds wrong—frustrated. Let me clarify at once that it’s not the critique that was the problem. As ever, the group was excellent and very, very helpful. Problem is, I was mega proud of what I’d managed to achieve in my edits and honestly felt that I’d done better. And I had . . . however, there is still work to be done and I’ve no idea now if I can do it.

~Start Deep edits on ‘Dead And Alive: Episode Three’
Yeeees. I’m only a page in, but I have started. I moved ahead when ‘Episode Two’ started to get to me and I needed a break from Michael’s trauma. Now I’m working on Kailah’s trauma instead and I’ve discovered an entire section that needs removing and replacing with something utterly different. -_- Who’d choose to be a writer, eh?

~Work through x5 chapters of beta comments
Oh, my god, yes, something POSITIVE! Yes. I’ve actually done seven (sneaked in a couple more this afternoon) but the positive part isn’t the quantity, but the quality of the changes. Lisa’s comments have been SO helpful and SO on the mark that I know exactly what I need to tweak and where. The entire first section is shining brighter than I’ve ever managed at this stage of editing and I’m so pleased with the result. It actually helps take the edge of ‘Dead and Alive’ and the horror that is ‘Episode Two.’

Activities For This Week

• Beat ‘Dead And Alive: Episode Two’ and then . . . do an Elsa
• Work through x5 chapters of beta comments
• Let DSB enjoy the LARP

Thoughts…

Credit: keriann3
I’m calling this guy: Self Doubt

Regards the above and my worry over ‘Episode Two’: this is just the regular appearance of my good friends Self Doubt and Panic (I should name those monsters, give them a face—then I can squash them when I get hacked off), but I (quite literally) just received an email from Amazon reminding me that I need to upload the final files for ‘Episode Two’ by October 2 to ensure everything is ready to meet the pre-order.

Credit: global quiz
This one can be Panic

o.O I have to be ready by then. If not I’ll lose my pre-order privileges as Amazon would take that to mean I’m not reliable as a publisher. I can’t afford to let that happen as pre-orders are part of my marketing strategy (such as it is) and are necessary for both me and Raven. So yes . . . I’m a little panicked.

The rational part of me knows there isn’t too much that needs to be done to the chapter. It needs further cutting and a bit of  clean, but I can’t remember the last time a scene was so hard to get right. And it’s just one scene.

But this is part of what it means to be independently published. There is always something that can be improved and always more you can do. But, to keep tweaking and playing and revising and editing means that a piece of writing will never be free. At some point I’m going to have to take ‘Episode Two’ kiss it on the cheek and let it go.

Obviously I want everything to be perfect. I want it to be excellent. I want my work to showcase my skill and wow millions of readers the world over. The fact is, I’m still learning. I’ll always be learning and all I can do, as I publish, is ensure that everything I realise is as good as I can make it at that moment in time.

‘Episode Two’ probably won’t satisfy me completely. But it’s already significantly better than ‘Episode One.’ It won’t be as good as ‘Episode Three’ and, frankly put, it will probably suck compared to ‘Episode Six.’ But that’s a good thing. It means I’m growing. It means I’m learning and applying new knowledge to everything I write. That, not perfection, is what it means to be a writer.

So yes . . . when I say ‘do an Elsa’ this is what I’m talking about.