I suppose it would be kind to leave a warning here before you start. Many, if not all, of the links in this series of posts are totally NSFW. If you want to have a look, do, by all means, but don’t be surprised if you find naked boy bits at the other end . . . or girl bits.
Happy? Let’s go.

Credit: Espressolia

Okay! I mentioned last week that BDSM breaks down into three ‘bits’ (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sado-masochism). Today I want to chat about bondage.

In lay terms, bondage is the act of tying up a partner for mutual, sexual gratification. Sometimes it’s just because you like the look/feel taste of being tied or tying someone else. There can be links with the SM aspect of BDSM but not always. In truth, bondage is quite flexible in its rules.

Types of Bondage

I’m sure there are loads, but personally, when I think bondage, I break it down into three types: decorative bondage, punishment bondage and what I call ‘play-time’ bondage. There is crossover and overlap between these three, but they are pretty much exactly what they sound like. Decorative bondage involves tying someone up for the aesthetic, which can lead to complex rope patterns (sometimes called Shibari) and beautiful knot work. Punishment is primarily for the purpose of causing pain and/or discomfort, while ‘play-time’ bondage may or may not be escapable with a bit of wriggling. This form of bondage focuses more on the act of trust and the mutual enjoyment in both parties.

Tools of Bondage – Rope

Credit: PubliKado

Rope. Lots and lots of rope! Heh. Obviously not just rope, but this is what comes to mind the most when I think of bondage. Mostly those images of cuffs, bodices and full bodies harnesses made from nothing more than loops and knots. I really want to put some images in here, but I can’t do so without obtaining the copyrights or permission and very often people are reluctant to do so.

However, there are some great people to talk to, particularly about rope bondage. There is, of course, Wikipedia (if you trust that sort of thing), but there are dozens, if not hundreds of websites dedicated to tips and the safe usage of rope as part of a bondage session.

Tools of Bondage – Leather

Here we’re talking cuffs and shackles, all made out of leather. These are generally softer and more pliable, able to be worn for long periods of time. Collars, bracelets, belts, straps, harnesses. Some leatherwear is worn outside the bedroom or sexual situations, simply as a piece of clothing. Sometimes referred to as fetish wear, if you’ve spotted somebody wearing a collar/choker, a studded wrist band or belt you most certainly wouldn’t find on the highstreet, this is the sort of thing I’m talking about.

Not to say that anybody who likes/wears fetish clothing follows a BDSM lifestyle, simply that there is often a lot of overlap.

Anyway, leather restraints are more comfortable to wear—meaning sessions can go on for longer!—and can often have clasps or buckets to make them easier than rope.

Tools of Bondage – Metal

Credit: qubodup

If I say ‘bondage,’ do you think ‘handcuffs?’ I find this to be what people most commonly think of when faced with the idea of restraints. It’s certainly what you’ll find in places like Ann Summers.

Not particularly safe or comfortable, but the aesthetic is there I suppose. Though . . . for metal restraints, maybe the toys on this site are a little more exciting? Or this site . . . y’know for more intense toys.

Next week I’ll delve a bit deeper into ‘The B in BDSM’ by touching on the why?