Bonus Blog: I’ve Lost My Way… :(

openclipart - confusing signNow before you worry, its probably not as a dramatic as it sounds. I was just sitting in bed this morning, having turned over (and waited for the now traditional click of my hips realigning, or whatever the hell it is they’re doing) and picked up my laptop.

I looked at Twitter, Facebook, shared a couple of things, responded to a couple of mentions and then logged onto the WordPress dashboard to have a look around. Then I realised that my body is in too sore a state to do much today (particularly with Alt Fiction to get through tomorrow!!!), so I’d better stay in. That in mind I tried to decide what creative enterprise of mine to work on today….

…and got stuck!

When I say ‘I’ve lost my way’ I think I mean that I’ve started doing too many things at once. Or I have too much on the go. Or I’ve got too many projects at the midway stage. Its weird; not long ago I was talking about lists and planning getting organised, but its funny how quickly that can fall apart if you’re not on the ball with it.

These are my ‘projects’ as they are currently:

  • Short story edit: 50% complete
  • Short story first draft: 1% complete (only started the other day)
  • Researching publishers of short stories
  • Researching open anthologies
  • Organising schedule of blog posts for May-June (& July?)
  • Researching competitions

~and then of course I put all the other stuff on there that I should be doing…

  • Finishing my reading of various notes from antenatal classes
  • Completing the packing of my hospital bag
  • Calling various ‘grown up’ folk: bank, life insurance provider, pension provider, house insurance provider
  • Completing my birth plan
  • Checking when the next antenatal class is
  • Making quick lists of where everything is so Dave can grab it if there is a need to rush
  • Washing more tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny baby clothes!
  • Washing MY clothes -_-
  • Tidying the study
  • Planning furniture positions for the twin’s room (and where its current allotment of junk is going to go)

Of course, the second part of that list isn’t just for me, so I don’t know if I should include it here, but, when I write it all like that, it seems not so bad after all. o.O Maybe my ‘brain clearing’ list was working better than I thought.

Funny though; how at one moment, the world and everything in it can look horribly daunting and frightening. The next, when you stop, take a breath and a fresh look, its not so scary after all. 🙂

I’m such a drama queen! I think I’ll just get on with it and see where I end up at the end of the day. :p

Thanks for listening folks. *squeezes*

About Ileandra Young

I'm a thirty-*mumbles* year old (purple loving, cheese worshipping) author of fantasy, juggling a pair of beautiful twin boys with my burning desire to make up stories and write them all down. When I get the chance, I play games, listen to music, and in days long past I even ran a radio show. Though I occasionally write non-fiction, my heart lives in fantasy and my debut novel, Silk Over Razor Blades is now available through Amazon along with part two of the trilogy, Walking The Razor's Edge.
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9 Responses to Bonus Blog: I’ve Lost My Way… :(

  1. It’ s very distracting, having such a big life change so imminent. Pick one project and finish it. Then, with the time you have left, pick another project and finish it. The wash can get done in tiny bits here and there, so concentrate on the harder stuff that you actually need to think about. Good luck!


  2. 4amWriter says:

    Ohh, I know the feeling. If I have too many to-do things then I get too overwhelmed and I get stuck. I’ll just stare at the mess I need to clean up, or at my laptop trying to figure out which project to dive into first, etc.

    Normally I’m a long-distance planner, but with each day so ridiculously crowded and variable I can’t think ahead as far as I used to. So, I have had to just plan about 2-3 days in advance instead of 2-3 weeks. Every morning, while I’m waiting for my coffee to brew, I will mentally map out my day and ask myself if I need to do anything that day to prep for the following day or two (you know, like bake a birthday cake today so I can frost it tomorrow, or thaw the ground beef today so I can make spaghetti tomorrow, or critique a client’s pages today so I can be ready for the deadline, etc)

    This really has helped me get some level of control. It’s not foolproof, but it saves a portion of my sanity… 🙂


    • There’s a lot to be said for the ‘day at a time’ method. If days like yesterday are anything to go by, I may need to do that in later weeks when my brain starts to melt. We’ll have to see how I do!


  3. Writerlious says:

    I know the feeling, Ileandra! The writer’s life in this day and age (thank you Twitter, Facebook, Goodreads, Pintarest, LinkedIn…) is super busy. I can only imagine expecting twins in the middle of it.

    If it makes you feel any better, in the months after my baby was born (now 17 months old), I got SO much writing done. Those little buggers sleep all the time, and I just stayed home at nights and wrote.

    Good luck!


  4. Mary Rhoads says:

    Hey, Illy, looks like you are already halfway there! Being a saddo middle-aged Radio 4 listener, I drowsed through ‘Something Understood’ this morning which was about mindfulness, taking time to declutter headspace and stay focused. My sister and her partner do a lot of meditation, so I was already familiar with the concept, even though personally I live in a cluttered head and house!

    That said, rereading your blog, it looks as if listening to your body with the SPD is fairly critical at the moment. Without wanting to be too intrusive, there are specialist maternity physiotherapists, you should be able to get a referral from your community midwife.

    Another intrusion/unwanted suggestion from a non-professional (free advice being worth what you pay for it): don’t get too hung up about the birth plan. With the twins, you probably fall into the high-risk category, so you will have lots of professional advice to weigh up. Don’t be afraid to ask for the reasons proposed interventions, the risks of following the advice versus the risk of not following the advice (you can always ask for copies of the maternity care guidelines). The more you and Dave know now, the easier it will be to make and live with snap decisions at delivery. Write down the issues/questions from those antenatal classes so you can raise them with your consultant. But for the plan itself, keep it simple is always best. Remember, the real goal is to go home with your two precious babies, not expend April’s word count on it.

    Having written my own blog tonight, I will now leave you in peace.

    X Mary


    • Thank you Mary! 🙂

      You’re right; I’m doing an awful lot of forcing myself to calm down and rest. Its harder than I ever thought it would be to just sit/lie/crouch and do nothing for as long as my body insists I should. Part of me feels guilty about ‘wasting the time’ but deep inside I know its not really like that.

      My midwife is especially good at reminding me of that, as is Dave and several other folks. In fact, without the kind words of everyone around me I would have gone mad long ago!

      I did get to go to a physio group which has given me some lovely exercises to try and advice about sitting, standing and various ways to do that without making things worse. Useful, though I would have liked having the support belt a good deal more. -_- Hopefully they’ll get on and send that, or else I’ll have to chase them.

      I’ve got to say, as well, this whole pregnancy has been classed ‘high risk’ for a number of reasons, so I get to talk to a lot of people very often. It can be a bit overwhelming sometimes, but knowing that the network of professionals is there to help is very comforting. You’re right about the birth plan though; I think the key with that piece of paper is going to be flexibility. I have to be prepared to chuck that out of the window if things change rapidly… as they are known to do!


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