Its not over – NaNoWriMo that is – because I haven’t finished the novel. There is still a mah-huu-sive end to come to all the build up I did through November, but I’ve had to put that on hold for another project which needs to be completed fairly soon.
I just feel that now the crazy month of totting up word counts and late nights and sprints and all the other crazy stuff is over, I’ve lost the will to do any more.
6,000 has never been so hard to write. Not ever! And its bizarre because its a genre I like writing. I used to think I was good at it too. Then again, the voice at the back of my mind that tells me ‘you’re rubbish!’ is so much a part of my every day writing, that I should be able to ignore it by now. Everybody gets that voice. Whether they realise it or not and the unlucky ones are those who listen to it to the point that they don’t pick up a pen or put their fingers to the keyboard again. Fortunately (unfortunately?) I’m too stubborn for that and now that I’ve decided I am a writer that is going to pursue me for the rest of my life.
Funny though, what I seem to want to do now, more than anything is sleep a lot, eat a lot and sit by myself. Its been a while since I felt the ‘sit by myself part.’ A long while in fact. Fortunately that’s easy to do in this house and Dave is such that he’s so close and considerate of my feelings that he’ll let me do exactly what I want. Not that sitting by myself helps the writing though; because sitting by myself seems to mean playing Diamond Dash (damn you Facebook!) until I run out of lives and then faffing around until some more time in.
At least today I’m getting out the house; I think that does a lot towards getting me out of the funk. Particularly since I’m going to be mixing with other writers. I’ll be with the Phoenix Writers today, which may be our last meet before Christmas and we have an extended programme of fun things to do until about 4.30pm. I’m looking forward to that truth be told. 😀