I’ve been having a little debate about that. All by myself, mind you, so to say ‘debate’ is probably a bit misleading. I guess you can debate with yourself, right? Meh. Well I do.
I’ve been trying to decide what my biggest fear is as a writer. And its interesting. I went to the Leicester Writer’s Club again yesterday, and enjoyed readings of some fabulous poetry, fascinating personal memoirs and some pretty moving prose. It was also quite nice to observe that all of the comments made were constructive and positive. Nothing derogatory or belittling, and its interesting to see and hear first hand how the opinions of various authors of various genres feel about what they hear when things are read.
So is that my biggest fear? To have my word scrutinised by professional eyes (and ears) and stand by while people give me honest opinions of what they think?
Or at least it shouldn’t be. That experience is important. Its part of what helps a writer grow, and of course, helps to make one understand that everyone is different and that people are going to value/enjoy/dislike/hate/adore/giggle at/cry at very different things. The trick is, in my mind, to understand who is going to do what and adjust your reactions accordingly.
My sister for instance would probably laugh her back off if she heard I was writing poetry, and yet, if I was writing some silly, girlie romcom style novelet, she might even ask to read it. If I were writing erotica (aaaah, hell, or just yaoi, haven’t done that for a while, but I may have to again) my mum might well be horrified, but my friends from various online forums would trample each other to get a sight of it. Its about be audience you’re writing for.
So… no… that’s not my biggest fear.
So what is my biggest fear?
- Writer’s block?
- Breaking a finger (meaning I can’t type)?
- Computer death (meaning I’d have to write BY HAND!)? – actually that one is pretty bad, as is the one above
- My Mum/Dad/Sisters/Brother/Friends hating what I write?
- Agents hating what I write?
- Publishers hating what I write?
- Remaining unpublished for eternity?
Ugh. That’s a frightening list. -_- Some of those are worse than others, and some aren’t something I should be frightened of. If it was easy to get an agent/publisher to like what you wrote, then every bugger would be published. I know you do have the likes of Twilight, Eragon, The Redemption of Althalus and Dreamcatcher out there which people rave about… I think they’re poo. I have more savage thoughts about the first two, but we’re not talking about that today. Point is, not everyone will like what you write, while some people love it. That’s just how it goes.
Wait… got side tracked….
Oh yes. Biggest fear? At the moment, I think my biggest fear, as a writer, is that I stop seeing myself as a writer. That other problems I’m having right now, distress and upset me so much that I actually stop thinking of myself as a writer. That would be a sign of bad, bad, bad times for me. THAT is my biggest fear.