IY: Fantasy Creatures – Unicorns – ‘The Pedlar’s Bag’


So . . . about that flash I promised you? Once more I failed in that regard. Not even like last month with the 700 ish zombie story, but more. I started writing something I’ve tentatively named ‘The Pedlar’s Bag’ based on a prompt I got from the PWG. It isn’t finished, not by a long shot, but I deliberately twisted the prompt (which was ‘the wrong suitcase’) to fit what I wanted to do. And to include unicorns.

It’s rough and pre-edits, but I don’t want to promise you something and fail to deliver it. Here is the first section of that story and, when I get around to it, the rest will follow.

Mamma’s going to die.

The thought filled Saila with dread. The fact that she knew the terrible event was coming did nothing to ease the ache in her heart. She sat by the bed, smoothing sweat-damp hair from her mother’s clammy cheeks. One hand fisted in the blankets, twisting the dirty wool into tight curls.

“Would you like some water?”

Iliah shook her head. Coughed. “No, dear heart. But I would like some sleep.”

“Of course.” Saila at once plumped up the bank of pillows supporting her mother’s head. After wiping her damp forehead with a cool cloth she stepped back from the bed and drew the ratty curtains over the narrow window. “I’ll be back in an hour.”

“Don’t rush yourself. Rest. You must be exhausted.”

Saila’s lids dragged downwards and each breath she exhaled seemed to come with a yawn, but she smiled and shook her head. “I’m fine. I’ll prepare dinner instead.” She fled the room before the tears could fall, rushing from the small house and into the yard where chickens scratched at the dusty earth alongside Misty and Shadow.

Instead of their usual gleeful barks, sombre silence greeted Saila as she stepped towards them. They pushed their damp noses in her palms and licked her face when she bent to kiss each on the end of their delicate snouts. “Come.” She patted her legs and the dogs followed.

Beyond the land belonging to the house fields of deep green grass stretched away in every direction. Grazing the land with delicate nips of their sharp teeth, two horses shared the field with four sheep, a cow and a mule with a crooked left ear.

Saila ignored them all aiming instead for the tall oak tree in the centre of the field. Taller than the house she shared with her mother, the tree had branches protruding from the trunk in almost radial spokes. The patterned continued right to the top and make the tree both pleasurably scalable in Iliah’s youth. When she reached it and stroked the bark, her fingers picked out the scratches put there five years ago.

She couldn’t read, but she trusted Jamie when he told her that he’d put her name there alongside his. The heart she recognised, a five pronged shape surrounding the other indents she assumed made their names.

Shadow immediately started digging at the root of the tree, as though sensing her ultimate goal. She let him and even stepped aside to let Misty joined him, ducking to avoid the clods of dirt thrown up by their paws. After a minute the dogs lowered their hands and pulled at the hessian sack buried within, drawing it free with a shake.

“Thanks,” she whispered.

Both dogs whined.

“I know. But if it can help Mamma . . .”

Saila opened the sack and shook the leatherbound book onto the grass. As ever the sight of a real book fascinated her. Too poor to afford any of her own, and unable to read them anyway, she regarded the portable homes of the written word items of magic and wonder. She touched it, tracing the pattern etched on to the front; a horse, midstride with a fluttering mane and a single horn protruding from its forehead.

Just like she had every day for the past week, she pulled the book into her lap and leafed through the pages. Blank. Every single one. And, like every day for the past week, she mulled on what it meant.

Everybody knew that unicorns were magical creatures. Appearing only in times of direst need, to those most deserving. It made no sense then, that this book, with its blank, creamy pages, once belonged to an old peddar selling iron pots and pans in the market.

Shadow growled at the book.

Saila clutched it tighter to her chest. “I didn’t mean to. It was a mistake. His bag looked just like mine.”

Reproach shimmered in the canine’s eyes. Perhaps he didn’t believe her either.

No matter how often she told herself it was a mistake, there had been plenty of time to return the book. The man lingered in the village for four days before leaving, mending cook-ware, telling stories and drinking himself into a stinking stupor in the local tavern.

Saila knew full well that she should have returned the bag the moment she realised the mistake. At the very least her mother needed the sweet herbs and pulses purchased with their last few copper pieces.

And that’s what I have so far! It has potential, even if it starts in the wrong place and takes a bit too long to get going. But isn’t that always the way with a new project? You ‘write yourself into it’.

So this is my opening, later at some point, I’ll post the rest. Then I’ll clean it up and decide what to do with it.

new ileandra signature,

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RS: eBook Review – *Terms And Conditions Apply, Pippa Jay


*Terms & Conditions Apply cover art

Credit: Pippa Jay

Author: Pippa Jay
Title: *Terms and Conditions Apply
Genre: Sci-Fi Romance
ASIN: B00AA0V798
Length: ’36 pages’

“Welcome to Venus Ascendant, a Public Grade space station in the Andromedan Sector. With our open-to-all policy, any being in the universe can find their perfect R & R, romantic getaway or dangerous liaison at our purpose built resort. The on-board empathic AI Ganesa ensures that anyone coming to Venus Ascendant will find their heart’s desire, with suites that transform from luxurious boudoirs to sunset-lit beaches to dark BDSM dungeons. So come to Venus Ascendant and find exactly what you’re looking for!”

It was meant to be a romantic getaway for Marie and the love of her life Jaisen; a chance for him to get to know her better after months of her denying him more than a few stolen kisses. Instead, Marie finds herself dumped and alone on Venus Ascendant with no credit for a transmat and the next starship home not due for another hour.

But the all-seeing AI isn’t going to leave anyone aboard the space station with their dreams unfulfilled. Marie’s boyfriend might not have made it to the station, but there are others willing and able to take on the role – even if they aren’t entirely human.

line break, swirling graphics, from openclipart

Cover:

Not sure what it is about this one, but I don’t like it as much as some of Pippa’s other covers. Maybe because the faces are such huge features . . . I’m not sure. Regardless, something about this one gave me pause. Not that it stopped me picking up the book though. 😉

Story:

Dumped by her boyfriend as she reaches the holiday destination set out for the pair of them, Marie has some time to kill before she can go back home. Cue a stunning AI, tasked with ensuring that any and all visitors to Venus Ascendant are happy and fulfilled.

Another great idea.Simple by well played out and touching in all sorts of cute (but-totally-non-twee) ways.

Characters:

Marie: The dumped girlfriend. I think this is the first time I’ve felt immediate sympathy for the ‘dumped girl’ trope. Marie had a few moments of self pity before firing right up and getting the hell on with it. I know this is a short story, so she’s pressed for time, but this is the sort of character I like and I’m pleased to see it executed so well.
Soren: Adorable in a sad and kinda ‘I just wanna-hug-him’ sort of way. Guess I’m more of a softy than I though because as his past was revealed (slowly and non-info-dumpy) I grew to like him more and more. And to feel that he kinda deserved something good to happen to him.

Eroticism:

Not erotic so much as sensual. It fit the tone of the book incredibly well and I think it was the better choice for these two characters. Something in the style of Harper Miller or KC Falls would have been too much for these two. Especially given the length of the story too.

Overall experience:

A (very) good read. The end was a little abrupt for me – can’t talk too much about it without giving things away – but the story rounded up nicely, which is a great feature for a short story. Not dangling questions and a very satisfying end of completeness. Also the book is formatted nicely and written in such a way as to gently pull me along without feeling like I’m getting dragged.

Final score:

Average across all scores is 4.2, which rounds out to 4 fireballs.

A sweet little story, actually very different from the things I usually read. It reveals in me a desire for HEA or HFN stories that I used to think weren’t for me. There’s something slightly bitter sweet about this one, but I did enjoy and would gladly recommend it.

At the very least because the piece is a great piece of romance blended with believable sci-fi, but also because . . . hey, it’s a good read!Raven's Signature In Black

 

 

 

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RS: I Haz Planz 23/07/15


Can I take a second to show you this? I’m slightly, recently obsessed with the dude and this video is largely the reason why:

There. I said it: I ADORE ED SHEERAN!!!

. . . bite me. The dude is AWESOME!

Okay . . . now that’s out of my system.

Actions Last Weekblank calendar from OpenClipArt

~Complete fresh back and front data for ‘Malcolm’ and, if necessary for ‘Meeting Each Other: The Full Story’
Yup. We’re all up to date now. Just waiting for Smashwords to work through the manual checks for the premium catalogue and for Amazon to put the files through their own checks. Then I’m all back on line and ready for sales. I hope. Heh.

~Work out how to put up Smashwords author interview . . . and do so!
Done. I have an interviiiiiiew! ^_^ Wanna see? Here ya go.

~Send x1 review request for ‘Sugar Dust’ and/or ‘The Full Story’
Done. In fact, I did two! One kinda doesn’t count, as it was a quick snippet of a question over Twitter, but the other was a full request done in the usual manner. All we can do now is see what happens, eh? ^_^

 Activities For This Week

  1. Work out how to put up Goodreads author interview . . . and do so!
  2. Send x2 review requests for ‘Sugar Dust’ and/or ‘The Full Story’
  3. Locate (and put in a safe place) all the feedback for ‘Slippers & Chains: Second Base’

Thoughts…

Most of this month’s jobs are done. All being well with Ileandra I should be back in control of DSB in August (maybe . . . ?). With that in mind, I want to be ready for the neatening work on ‘Second Base’.

Aaaah, bring it!

Oh, and:

Raven's Signature In Black

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RS: Tropes In Erotica – The Secretly Sexy Woman


Funny, but I like this trope. Or rather I like the idea behind it, even if the execution often leaves a lot to be desired. The idea that a woman really is beautiful or worth noticing if only a man cares to look. That, I believe, is how it should be.

Unfortunately, the truth is usually that said woman is made into someone else’s idea of beautiful by going through a transformation that’s wholly against the grain of their usual self. Worse yet, it’s often to please someone else. And of course, once they’ve done that, they realise that this new person is who they were all along and that they’re happier this way.

Aaah well.

mummy from openclipart.comThe first time I came across this as an idea (one that I understood and paid attention to, rather than just taking it as it as it appeared) was watching the extras commentary for The Mummy. The director was talking about the Evie character and the line I’ll always remember is: ‘Then she did the classic thing: she changed her clothes and took down her hair.’ Personally, I think Rachel Weisz is stunning whatever the hell you do to her, but I’m not the one writing these film scripts . . . pity . . .

And that is this trope in a nut shell. A woman who, at the start of the novel is prim, proper and all those other ‘boring’ words goes through some sort of change. Either she makes a decision or something happens to her that forces a change that she (usually) fights against. Through doing so, this woman is revealed to be a stunner: all she had to do was take down her hair/take off her glasses/loose the baggy clothes/stop stuttering/loose the tom-boy clothes/start smoking/looses her braces/wear a little lot of make up.

There are examples of this trope all over the place and not just in erotica. Just off the top of my head here are a few examples (some are books adapted into films, others are just films):

Hermione Granger – Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (it’s magic, Harry!)
Eliza Doolittle – My Fair Lady (Wooooooooooooouldn’t it be laaav-eerr-leeeeeey!)
Gracie Hart – Miss Congeniality (yep, ball gown and a gun. My kinda lady!)
Laney Boggs – She’s All That (doesn’t everyone love that dance scene at the prom?)
Cinderella – Any incarnation you like (though, personally, I like this one)
Tai – Clueless (LOVE this film, haven’t see it for years!)
Sandy Olsen – Grease (still can’t watch this film, thanks, Sis -_-)
Fran – Strictly Ballroom (another I haven’t watched for a long time)
And the absolute classic: Vivian Ward – Pretty Woman (Hell, it’s even in the title!)

It interests me how this idea of what is ‘beautiful’ or ‘sexy’ is often not what a woman starts out as. That she has to change to become beautiful or sexy. If it were simply that the change involved the woman becoming more comfortable in herself, I’d be happy, but it isn’t. Very often it’s about her appearance and how she is perceived by others.

But then, isn’t that the life of a woman in a nutshell?

Sexy Woman

Raven's Signature In Black

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IY: Mah Plans 20/07/15


Wow. The crash back to earth following a LARP is getting harder and harder. Even I’m feeling it and DSB is the one who went, not me. O.o

Maybe hurling myself back into work will be the way to deal with it . . . that or walking the streets searching for a random stranger to hit over the head with my sword. That solved a lot of problems over the weekend. 😉

Actions Last Week

~Complete half the remaining secondary timeline edits (from the 1815 battle sequence, should be x2 chapters)
I got one done. Frankly put, I’m stunned I managed that. I had to shift a lot around (end to the middle, middle to the end, a portion of the new end before after the new middle), as well as cutting something like 300 words overall. It seemed to take ages. But it’s done and the chapter is far stronger for it.

checking off feedback~Test drive another couple of ‘Dead or Alive’ cover art options
No. But I do know that if I honestly intend to take this route, I will need to produce the covers myself. I don’t have any more money to commission them and what funds I do have needs to be saved for novels. The smaller (and of course, more frequent stuff) needs to be done by me to the best of my ability. Ho hum . . . more skills to put on my literary CV when the time comes. 😉

~Make two review requests (in person/via email/via blogs/via strangers) for ‘Silk Over Razor Blades’
Nope. Just nope. Haven’t had a second spare. Though two earlier requests have come through as positive acceptances. I should be seeing those shortly. That makes me happy. ^_^

Activities For This Weekgeneric calendar with mountains from OpenClipArt

  • Complete editing on another chapter of the remaining secondary timeline
  • Read through first chunk of ‘Dead or Alive’ in full in preparation for deep edits
  • Make two review requests (in person/via email/via blogs/via strangers) for ‘Silk Over Razor Blades’

Thoughts…

The time off has put me in a strange frame of mind. I’m desperate to get things done, but I also want to just chill and remember how nice it was to not be working. I guess it lends weight to the theory of ‘regular breaks are good for you.’ Not that we’ll always be able to LARP when we want, but even just a few days off here and there would be good for all of us.

new ileandra signature,

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