80 Post Challenge – Post 33


Have you ever done something just to feel the danger, or to feel alive?


Um… no. But now I feel like I’m missing out on something!

I’m not a fan of danger. I enjoy my life too much to risk loosing it for a joy ride. Its full enough, rich enough and interesting enough that I don’t need to seek out danger to get my thrills and spills. I get enough of those going to work every day, or sitting in the house deciding what piece of fiction to write next.

I remember a climbing frame back when I used to live with my Mum, before we moved and I couldn’t believe how exciting it was. I used to dangle upside down for the hell of it and loosen the grip of my legs to see if I could reach the floor while upside down. Without falling and cracking my skull.

When we moved, it was several years before I went back to the park which held the climbing frame. When I did, I was tall enough and old enough to think that the whole thing had shrunk and I could probably catch hold of the bar I used to use, while on my knees, without even stretching my arms. It really wasn’t far off the ground at all.

What I remember most, however, was the fact that even though it was so much easier now I was older, I couldn’t bring myself to hang upside down like I used to. Nor could I climb to the top of the frame; a feat which used to take me 30 seconds flat.

I had developed fear.

Not that fear is bad; I think the fear of cracking your head by pulling a silly stunt is sensible. But it revealed to me suddenly that I was afraid because I had stuff to loose. I’d already learnt that pain was (and obviously still is) unpleasant. So I didn’t want to risk it.

I guess that’s the sort of person I am.

I don’t like to take risks, because I don’t necessarily like the danger. I don’t like the risk of emotional, physical or mental pain.

Then… here is the key question:

WHY THE HELL HAVE I CHOSEN PROFESSIONAL FICTION-WRITER AS MY LIFE GOAL?!

Its probably one of the most damaging professions you could ever choose! Constant rejections and batterings of your hours and hours of work. All the time!
RejectedI got another rejection a few weeks back. Admittedly I’d forgotten I even sent out the piece, but when it came back I was stunned by how much it hurt. Again. Its not the first one. And of course if I mean to keep doing this, then its not going to be the last either (its DEFINITELY not going to be the last).

So maybe the answer to this question is actually yes. Maybe the choice of writing in this way is one big ‘something to feel the danger.’ Danger of rejection. Danger of indifference. Danger of perpetual anonymity.

Yikes… maybe I am a bit of a dare devil after all!

 

 

 

 

My 80 Post Challenge is brought to you with help from Tom Slatin’s 80 Journal Writing Prompts.

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My Acting Début


So not that I’ve never done any acting work before, but this was something special. I spent Sunday morning (and some of the afternoon) being the Diva of Joy. ^_^

You may recall my talking about Carol Leeming before. Leicester Diva, poet and all round performer of awesome. Well her project The Loneliness of the Long Distance Diva has begun filming and I’ve been involved in a club scene set in the bright, colourful and totally beautiful 70s. The scene features a dance floor full of revellers, roller girls (because skates are cool!) and a drag queen (of course). On stage is the performer (Chester) and his two glitzy backup singers, the Divas of Joy.

One gold, one silver, these girls help to rile the crowd, work them up and play off against Chester as he performs for the masses.

There is more to the scene that that, of course, but the bits I’m not involved with, I’ve made an effort not to learn too much about, since I really want to enjoy the film as a whole when its completed.

I played the gold Diva. A role that kinda fell into my lap when I ran into Carol outside the test centre when I did my driving theory test. She almost jumped on me, pointed a bit and exclaimed that I would be perfect for it. If I wanted to be involved.

My very last acting experience prior to this had been with LUT in my second year of uni, a Czech play called The Memorandum. I played a slight crazy, utterly bemused secretary type who would pinch your bum in the office, but not really mean anything by it. Brilliant play; very funny and pointing out some of the more ridiculous drawbacks to insisting that everything is by all the rules, with the appropriate paperwork and red tape dodging. Office politics gone awry, but very much fun.

Prior to that, it had been operettas at school and one big play at my drama school in which I actually managed to snap up a leading role. Oh and some BBC extra work on Hope & Glory.

Nothing since leaving uni though. So I really did hop on the chance to do some more acting; particularly with Carol who I really do admire and respect for all the things she’s done.

Cut to Sunday morning, after all my worry that I might not be able to make it for various reasons I ride down to the location ready to be glammed up and made glitzy.

I wish I had a photo.

I ducked Dave so many times that he didn’t manage to take any (d’oh!) and by the time I’d cooled down enough to stop sweating off the makeup, it was time to go.

Oh, but it was an amazing time! Afro wigs, flared-leg jump suits, bright colours, massive jewellery and sequins! My golden wrap type thing was fabulous! So shiny (and custom made, by the way!) and caught it the light in a truly funky way. I got a matching headdress of gold (you know; those nets with the long dangly bits in the back) and a glittery microphone so I could sing my heart away.

And I did. I remain surprised by how many of those songs I actually knew. But then, after going through uni and then doing the radio show I shouldn’t be surprised that many of the songs played were well known to me. When Le Freak came on it was a bit hard to control myself.

Hehee.

I believe the piece is out in June/July 2012, but don’t worry! I won’t forget to tell you guys all about it when it does; so you can see. I think somebody said it will be playing at Curve, but that’s just speculation until I know more. And there are still photoshoots to do, so I’ll have more to talk about later on. Have no fear of that!

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80 Post Challenge – Post 32


If you invented a device that could fix one problem you are facing right now, would you use it? What problem would you like to solve?


HorlogeDijonA time machine. Its quite simple to be honest; a time machine would solve a lot of my problems. and everyone else’s problems actually. Its just a matter of how far back one goes.

Do you go to the source of your current problems? Or do you go back to real source of all your problems and try to fix things as you go along? Would you be selfish about it and only try to sort yourself out, or would everybody get the benefit of your magical device? Meh.

Me… I’ll be honest and say that I’d probably only sort out my own problems. At least to start with. To hell with everything else; if its become so bad that I need a time machine then surely its worth sorting out straight away, right?

Things like world peace and the end of world debt and famine would come after. Though I’m not sure how a time machine would help that. Maybe I could prevent the first and second world war? Maybe I could prevent a load of wars?

Or maybe meddling with that type of thing actually creates more problems than the one you are trying to solve.

I hate problems. They’re hard work. By definition they are difficult and things that people would rather do without. But isn’t our dealing with these problems part of what makes us who we are? Isn’t it part of what defines us as people? Is it not how we learn and grow and create?

bright idea yellow light bulb, OpenClipArtIf the relative speed of horses never became a problem, who would have thought to invent the car or the bicycle? If reading in the dark wasn’t a problem, who would have thought to come up with something like a light bulb or a torch? Who might have considered how electricity could be used?

Exactly.

I need to think in such a way about this particular problem. I have to hope that my decisions and choices, though difficult (and probably avoidable with a time machine) will help me grow and develop and be better. And prove best for people around me. Obviously it isn’t possible to help/please/cater to everyone, but the lesser of two evils isn’t a bad thing, right?

Oh and no, I’m sorry. I can’t tell you what the problem is. That’s a touch too personal for such a public blog. Apologies.

 

 

 

 

My 80 Post Challenge is brought to you with help from Tom Slatin’s 80 Journal Writing Prompts.

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How English Can I Get?


I’ve had a bit of a shitty week. I’m not going into details, but things around me have spiralled somewhat out of control and decisions have to be made that are sure to have lasting effects for years to come.

Anyway, with all that in mind, do you know what my solution was? After I had a good old cry and sulk of course….

It was to go and have a cup of tea.

Cup of tea, Scotland

Can you believe it? I’ve always prided myself on not being very English at all; mainly because both of my parents are Jamaican and, even though I was born down south, I like to think there are traces of that in me. But really… my solution was to make myself – and everyone else – a good, strong cup of tea.

Its funny how soothing it was. How much more relaxed I felt. And how many times while on the phone with my mother she told me to have a cup of tea and a slice of toast. Apparently both of these things have magical healing powers! Maybe they do; maybe the English really are onto something. Maybe I should rest easy in the fact that I’m more English than I thought and simply be proud of it.

Why… this week I even complained about the weather, bringing it up in what would have otherwise been an awkward conversation gap.

Definitely:
Nuvola English flag

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Book Review: You Suck


Author: Christopher Moore
Title: You Suck
Genre: Comedy Horror
ISBN: 9781841498096
‘Being dead sucks. Literally.’


I seem to have two books by this Christopher Moore chap, but this one, I feel, will be nothing like the other one. When I get around to reading it.

You might recall that I was drawn to this one purely because of the title. I picked it up at Alt Fiction and I’m still working through the amazing stack I got while I was there.

I should have realised that with a title like ‘You Suck’ the book would be hilarious. I didn’t, therefore I was pleasantly surprised as I got through the first chapter.

Tom Flood (or C Thomas Flood, because that sounds way cooler) wakes up one night and realises that his skin has cleared up, his aches and pains from the day before are gone and he can see, hear and feel better than ever before. Why? He’s a vampire of course. And so is his girlfriend.

If ever there was a lad who didn’t make vampire material, its this fellah. A nineteen year old sex addict (aren’t they all?), struggling to keep a grip on his super sexy, intelligent and powerful girlfriend. A girlfriend who thought it would be a fabulous idea to turn him into a vampire so they could be together forever. Never mind the fact that her own vampire sire shouldn’t even have turned her in the first place.

This book made me laugh from start to finish, plotting the journey of two young vampires finding out how to be vampires. Very clearly they have no idea and have no one left to ask. Imagine a child left on their own in a supermarket with a load of sweets right in front of them, but they’re not really sure how to get through the check-out process, or even if they’re allowed to. Tom and Jody are just like that.

You Suck is a funny, light-hearted piece, which I found to be an incredibly easy read. With regular interjections from Abbie Normal, I found myself peering into the depths of a teenage mind in a way I haven’t done for a long time. A teenage mind that just happens to be connected to a vampire body that could tear your arm from your shoulder socket if you pissed it off.

So long as you don’t want to take vampires too seriously, definitely read this book. With a sprinkling of true moments of sincerity and heartfelt emotion, there is enough comedy meat underneath to get your teeth stuck into. *snerk*

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