Book Review: Epitaph


Author: Shaun Hutson
Title: Epitaph
Genre: Horror
ISBN: 9781841497631
‘Your next words could be your last…’


I saw this book on my shelves and found myself really confused. I didn’t recognise the cover, the blurb or the opening line. Then I realised, with stunned horror, that I owned a Shaun Hutson book and hadn’t managed to read it! What the hell?! This give is my favourite author ever and I’ve forgotten one of his books?!

So, in true Illy-Style, I picked it up, put it in my bag and spend the next two days reading about Paul Crane, the recently redundant copy writer who wakes up in a coffin; kidnapped by the bereaved couple who believe he has murdered their daughter.

Now… were this not one of Shaun’s books, I might have lost patience early on. The beginning was a bit fragmented for my tastes: jumps in time, parallel, seemingly unrelated storyline that had no mesh point and a protagonist I didn’t even like all that much. I don’t think I’ve encountered Shaun writing like this before, but his plan all became clear like a slap in the face not too far into the novel. And boy was it worth it!

There is a special skill in being able to grab and hold a reader’s attention with just one character trapped in a tiny space. Its a skill Shaun obviously has by the bucket load and Epitaph is another example of his ability to grab readers by the throat and hold them down.

I couldn’t stop reading. I didn’t want to, and, as ever, I found myself speed reading because I was just so desperate to know what came next. Even when it all sent chills down my spine and made bile bubble in my gut.

Awesome read. Totally fantastic; would recommend over and over (and over!).

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Bonus Blog: New Skillz!


Yeah… I didn’t think it would take long, but I have finally mastered a brand new skill. One most useful and particularly applicable to how I have to live my life for the next… oooh about nine months.

One hand handstandI can cook, clean, eat and now type one handed!

It took a bit of doing, but I realised yesterday that if I ever wanted to do anything ever again I have to be able to do it slightly differently. My boys are what my sister calls ‘hand babies.’ Not that its possible to spoil a baby of only a month old, but these babies spend a lot of time in either mine or Dave’s arms. Sometimes its the only way to calm them down; they don’t want food, or changing or anything else, just the feel of a warm body next to theirs. And I can understand that. There are few things nicer than a good hug, right? Well these kids sometimes want that. The problem is that means that one hand (usually arm) is completely out of commission. The second one usually is close after.

So yesterday I made dinner and subsequent snacks completely one handed. Jacket potatoes; one hand. Salad prep; one hand. Dishing out; one hand. I had to eat with both hands, but that was allowed – jackets have tough skin; I needed a knife and fork to tackle it. Cleaning up; one hand. Acquiring dessert; one hand. It was fabulous!

All I need to be able to do now is all that with reduced levels of sleep, on a consistent basis and we’ll be well away.

Oh; I should say as well. Happy birthday! Well… insofar as anybody celebrates month anniversaries, but I feel obliged to hop up and down and squeal. Its been a month. A whole month! And its gone so, so fast! I know people say it, but I’ve never really understood before how fast the time goes. Somehow we’ve managed to survive the madness of two babies and sleepless nights and constant feeds. We’re both sane and healthy and if we can do one month, we can do as many more as we need to.

Feeling quite confident right now. And positive. Squeeee! ^_^

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80 Post Challenge – Post 66


Describe a time in your life when everything turned out fine, despite the odds.


I applied to three universities after my A Levels. I wanted a combination course of Geology and Archeology. I could think of nothing I wanted more than to dig around in holes and lick rocks and unearth ancient treasures. One university, out of all of those in the UK did the course I wanted. It was in Birmingham and I made that university the head of my list, followed by Leicester and Keele.

I did my A Levels (they were bloody hard) and ended up with a bunch of grades that I’m not best proud of but just managed to do the trick. Well… I thought it did. When I called up Birmingham university to check how if I could get in they told me that, unfortunately, the grades weren’t good enough.

I wasn’t going to Birmingham.

I’ll never forget that feeling. My world ended in those days when I was trying to figure out what to do. There was nothing I wanted more than university (except for writing), but I had no contingency plans. I had no clue of what options were open to me and all of the ‘helplines’ to take students through their choices weren’t really helping either.

I cried in those days. I cried a lot, mainly because I knew that my grades weren’t good enough to let me into any university.

After recovering from the disappointment and the knowledge that I’d only let myself down I started putting together what to do. That meant calling up the rest of the universities on my list and ‘begging’ to be allowed in. That was my intent anyway but it turned out that there was very little begging involved. Despite my grades Leicester University was more than ready to take me. They told me the grades were by the by and the fact that that Birmingham University wouldn’t take me on only made it so much the better for them. They were impressed with my personal statement and my earlier interviews during the open day. Things that I’d completely forgotten about!

Long story short, even though I’d planned and geared myself to go to Birmingham I ended up in Leicester. The degree wasn’t the combined course, it was just Geology, but I had Archeology modules in the first year which was plenty to tide me over. Then I discovered that I absolutely hated Archeology anyway, so that worked out quite nicely. :p I also discovered a fabulous cluster of friends, and later a fantastic boyfriend, a steady job and general satisfaction in my life. I can’t guarantee that I wouldn’t have been able to get the same in Birmingham, but I wouldn’t swap what I have right now for anything in the world. I have incredible friends, a great, comfortable house, a wonderful partner, two beautiful (if loud and unsettled) boys and a life that I just can’t complain about.

Its weird thinking that if I’d gone to Birmingham I wouldn’t be where I am today, but from those days of sheer, blind panic to now its certainly worked out better than I ever could have imagined.

My 80 Post Challenge is brought to you with help from Tom Slatin’s 80 Journal Writing Prompts.

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Six Sentence Sunday 03/06 #17


Aaaaah, June. Hell it goes so fast! I can’t believe we’re already half way through the year! Talk about crazy.

My life has just been a mad whirlwind since Jan 1st, but I’m glad there’s still time to write up a quick six sentences.

This week, continuing the theme of my A-Z of flash fiction we’re now on ‘H.’ The trigger word for this was Heather and here is a sample from that 700 word piece.

~The school geek stares at Heather, the object of his burning infatuation…

She’s blonde. I don’t normally go for blondes; they have some sort of genetic attitude problem, but its from a bottle so she gets away with it.  I know she’s actually a brunette under all that gold.  I saw her getting changed once and caught an eyeful of pubes.  Don’t look at me like that! If she’s going to get changed at her locker, then what do you expect?!

Hehee. He’s a naughty, naughty boy, isn’t he?

Okay, that’s all from me. Don’t forget, to see what everyone else is up to this week, don’t forget to follow the link embedded in the banner below.

Six Sentence Sunday

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Guest Blog: My Publishing Experience


Soooooo! In answer to my Call for Guest Posts I have a selection of posts for you from various sources. These fabulous people have been kind enough to take time out of their days to write up a little something for this blog because I’m so crazy busy! You’ll see these pop up over the coming weeks so be sure to keep coming back!

minivan mum mom mystery series, logoThis is the third post of the selection, kindly written for us by Jim Bronyaur, author of the Minivan Mom Mystery Series. Check out the series on Amazon (the latest release being ‘If Errands Could Kill’), or visit his site using the links above. Its well worth taking the time, let me assure you.

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I’m here to talk about publishing. I can’t be too sure I’m the best candidate to talk about publishing, but I can tell you that all the old clichés stand true… you know the ones I mean, right? The ones about not giving up, the ones about walking instead of running, the ones of chasing dreams, and even the 10,000 hour theory.

If you’re new to publishing, you probably look at those clichés and laugh. You’re going to be the one who breaks the mold and changes everything. You’re going to create the next big hit like Twilight or The Hunger Games or Harry Potter. I say go for it, because one of two things will happen:

  1. You do it. You succeed. You create the next big thing. Your characters are on big screens, and teenage girls are crying for your lead. Your characters are on cups at Burger King and a graphic novel is months away from release.
  2.  You fail and fall on your face.

This will be your first and biggest lesson. A writer who is meant to write will stand up, brush themselves off and go at it again. Someone who likes to write will stand up and walk away and go back to their ‘real life’.

That’s the truth of life, writing, and publishing.
If you’re a writer, you write.

Let’s take The Hunger Games for a second… before Suzanne Collins wrote The Hunger Games, she wrote for Nickelodeon.
Let’s take Stephen King… he used to work two jobs while his wife worked too. When his kids got sick, his wife would tell him to create a monster to write a story to sell to buy medicine.

It doesn’t come easy, but neither does life. Remember that.

So, let’s talk about my ‘success’ in publishing. I’ve had over one hundred pieces of fiction published, along with over a dozen projects in my name and close to another hundred projects I’ve assisted, worked on, and edited through a small company I started last year.

It all began for me when I was in fifth grade and a guest poet came to school. He was fat with black suspenders and always had food in his snow white beard. He was eccentric and loved poetry more than anything in the world. Through his guidance, I had my first poem published in fifth grade. It was an elegant story about a pig wearing a wig (and for the record, the rhymes only got cheaper as they went on… and yes, I have a copy of that book, and no, I will NEVER share the poem.).

Then came my first computer with clipart.

I would write scary stories or rewrite television shows to make them scary. I’d save them on floppy disks and pass them around to family and friends. I’d print them, staple them, sign them, and show them off. In some light, that could have been the start to my publishing company. My first horror story was called The Butcher’s Shop and it was about a man named Steve Epson (yes, Epson from the printer I had… that’s how I named characters back then…) and he was the new butcher in town. People loved his meats, until they discovered he was murdering the townspeople and grinding them up. In a sick twist, the townspeople took Steve Epson, put him in the meat grinder, and then ate him.
I was twelve when I wrote it.
Thankfully, my parents didn’t lock me up. Instead, they bought me a guitar.

Fast forward a few years or so and I’m in a creative writing class in high school, with a guest teacher who took my passion for words and grew it. She allowed me to explore prose and poetry like I never thought I could, even letting me stand up in class to read a poem with the ‘f’ word in it. What a great moment for me….

What’s the point of my life’s ramblings here? My point is that I started writing when I was in fifth grade and it wasn’t until last year that I published my first short story collection, on my own. I continued to write, and publish, and in June, I started a small company. I started the company because I wanted all the control. I handle the writing, the designation of editing, the proofing, the cover work, the finalising, the marketing, and all the business stuff like accounting and taxes. It’s my world and I embrace it.

If you’re writing and getting into publishing, the resources are vast and can get overwhelming. If you’re going to get out there and find an agent and a traditional deal, my best advice is to find blogs that embrace that decision and help you succeed. Get books on the market, learn how to write the perfect query letter, and never once give up. Also, never stop writing. When that first book is done, start the second.

If you’re going to do it on your own as an independent author, don’t get discouraged by other opinions. There is a shift and crack sometimes between traditional and independent publishing, but guess what? Either one is the right choice. There are many authors who start out independent and go traditional – and there are authors who do both (they are called hybrid authors)!

Whatever your choice is, follow it with your heart, but always keep your head involved. Writing is an art, but right behind that, comes the business side of things. Mixing the two may feel a little strange, but the authors who are smart and who can balance both are the ones who can succeed. Above all, remember that writing is work. I used to have this dream of a traditional deal that paid me seven figures and I’d lounge around writing bestsellers… yeah, right. In reality, this is a full-time job for me and I work (no lie) at least 70-80 a week, at the minimum. And guess what? I’m married and have two children – and my wife works. I’m at up at five in the morning and my wife and I balance our time and schedules all day long to make sure work is done, the kids are taken care of, we have family time, etc. I’m usually asleep by midnight and on the weekends I’ll treat myself by not setting the alarm, but my internal clock goes off at six, so I’m still up early to write.
I do this for two reasons… first, I love it. This is my dream, my passion. I’ve always wanted to own my own business and now I do. I’ve always wanted to be a writer, and now I am. Having the two together is amazing. Second, I do this because it’s my job. I need to make money to survive, like the rest of the world. If I don’t write, I don’t work, I don’t get paid.

This is the greatest time, if ever, that I’ve seen for publishing. The barriers between traditional and self-publishing have been shattered and they will remain that way. Authors have options to distribute their work and better yet, the readers have options too. The readers command the market and will continue to do so. But before anything else… you have to have books written. And I don’t mean a single book. This is a time when BOOKS matter. Not a book. Get a dozen or so stories out there and then start promoting… mix it up with short stories, novellas, novels, etc. Get a nice long list and then things will start to grow.

With that said, go write!

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