Getting Back On The Horse

Posted on August 23, 2013 by Ileandra Young

I forced myself to do some self-analysing on Tuesday.

I’m tired. I’m worn out, not burnt out, but not my best. I spend my days with my beautiful boys and then collapse in the evenings. Since being a mummy is a full-time job, I can be excused for that. Even though I know that. Following that thought, the idea of a holiday has been slowly growing in my mind.

Those of you who have been with me for a while, know that I LARP. In fact, my last LARP was the weekend I realised that I might be pregnant, meaning it was almost two years ago. I miss it. A lot. It’s like a hole in my gut.

My LARP takes place in Wales and is just too far away for me to get back to. I’ll be honest that this fact, as much as anything else (money, my sons), has kept me away from it. But it’s still just an excuse.

The analogy I gave Dave (reproduced here without giggles, ums, ahhs, and digressions) was that I feel like I’d enjoyed horse riding for years and years before falling off and breaking my leg. After the leg healed and I was physically able to ride again, I found excuses to avoid getting back on the horse to continue riding.

That is exactly what has happened to me. I’ve been away from LARP, and, for that matter, any and every sort of activity that was my own previous to the birth of my sons, that I can’t imagine doing it again. I’m too scared to try. Writing has survived, but things like LARP, pen and paper roleplay, trips to the pub, my radio show, weekend visits to my mum/dad, day trips to Nottingham/Birmingham have all gone *poooof*. And I finally narrowed my fatigue down to missing those things. OpenClipArt brown horseI’ve been putting off returning to those things because I’m afraid that being a mother has changed me so much that I don’t know if they’re ‘me’ any more and I’m too scared to find out.

But I need to find out. I need to get back on the horse.

That is why, after months of gentle cajoling, I’ve been convinced to return to LARP. Not Herofest, but a new LARP, in my local area called Empire.

I have only the vaguest idea of what it’s going to be like. I have no kit. I have no IC (in character) tent. I’m not sure how I’m getting there yet. I’m not even sure of what my character name is. I just know that I am going and that Dave has made it ridiculously easy for me to do so. He’s going to have the boys. He’ll have backup either from his mum or friends in the area. I am free to just go and enjoy myself. To rediscover myself.

I love him so much for giving me this chance and I love my dear friend Len for almost bullying me into it. I love Celine for gently (very gently for her) suggesting that a holiday away from the boys really might be what I need to refresh myself and enable me to keep going. I love my mum for the injection of funds which makes this even remotely possible (I love her anyway, of course [!] but sometime I forget how much). And I love my boys for being so grown up and mature even at 15 months, to the point that I know I can leave them with their father for two nights; even if I’m nervous.

Ugh… this post got mushy! It wasn’t supposed to.

Have you guys ever put off something so long that you almost couldn’t (wouldn’t?) return to it? Have you returned to it yet, or are you still looking at the horse and shaking your head? I love hearing from you and remember, for each comment you make on posts throughout August up to September 26, your name will be put in the draw to win one of four free copies of the upcoming ebook ‘Meeting Each Other: Vicki & Lara’.
Comment awaaaaaaaaay!
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*heerrrk!*

Posted on August 19, 2013 by Ileandra Young

You know that feeling where you’re so excited about something that you might just choke? Or throw up? Your whole body is humming with anticipation mixed with a large dollop of fear? Your hands shake at odd moments, your hairline sweats, and you realise that no matter how much washing up there is, it’s not enough to distract you?

Yeah, that.open clip art, sick smilieI’ve talked about self publishing for so long that it seems really odd to be doing it.

I told someone this morning to be the Nike poster-girl and ‘Just Do It.’ Much easier telling someone else to do that than to do it yourself.

Preparations for the first story in the Meeting Each Other series is going very well. The piece has come back from my editor. Some changes I fought, others I didn’t, as you’d probably expect. Now it’s with one last reader to proofread (I know it’s what I do on the side, but I still feel that nobody should really proofread their own work without letting someone else have a look too) while I track down the models I had in mind for the cover art.

Yes, I’ll hopefully be using a real photo as part of the design, rather than just vector art and text. It’s not something I’ve done before, but the cover artist I have in mind does excellent work and I’m confident they can manage the brief. ^_^ Meanwhile I’ve pin pointed a formatting team who can make the piece ready for all e-reader formats.

All in all, this experience is one I’m loving immensely, though I still want to chuck my lunch every time I think about it. I hope that gets better over time.

What was the last experience you had that made you want to throw up? Were you excited? Scared? Just a little nervous? I love hearing from you and remember, for each comment you make on posts throughout August up to September 26, your name will be put in the draw to win one of four free copies of the upcoming ebook. Comment awaaaaaaaaay!
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I Knoooooooooooow What I Like!

Posted on August 16, 2013 by Ileandra Young

I know that isn’t the line exactly, but when I thought of this post, this track is what I thought of. Yes, I do like it.

Last time I talked about my characters being likeable. To start, I thought I’d just say that while Ileandra doesn’t start as a likeable characters, other characters of mine do. It’s just her that I wanted to work for it. :p

Today, however, I want to talk about writing other than my own.

Early last week I started rereading a series of books I’ve owned since I was about fifteen. As usual with posts like these, I’m not going to tell you who the series is written by or what it is called, I’m just going to talk about it.

At fifteen, my tastes were very specific and I didn’t branch much out of a specific genre while reading. This series fitted that niche perfectly and I gobbled them up one after the other. The main character to my mind was strong, funny, practical and loveable.

After a gap of a good twelve years I came back to the series because I realised that there were far more books after the point that I’d stopped collecting them. So I started from the top.

The moment I started reading I got another clear and frightening glimpse of how much my tastes and style have changed. For one thing I think these books are poorly written. Extremely poorly written. Description is bland and repetitive, the main character focuses on clothing in a way I’ve never seen outside a character that wasn’t superficial and material. The narrative, though written in first person, is clunky, even for that and littered with irritating clichés. Worse than that, is that the editions I own are absolutely packed with typos.sad face stylised emoticonWorse than this, was the main character. I had always loved this person and taken elements of their personality to help bulk out some of my roleplay characters. Now, this person is selfish, arrogant, inconsistent, petty and a bit of a sociopath. What I thought was strong is just plain savage. What was once practical is now ruthless. Loveable has become bloody annoying.

I no longer like this character at all.

And yet I have bought five more of the books to fill in the holes in my collection. I’m reading them at a rate of one a day, even with the kids, work, writing and sleeping to do. I still love them.

That confuses me. Without giving too much away, I can’t talk about all the things that draw me to these books, but I can say I don’t understand myself. I can also say that my reaction to this book and the character gives me more hope for SORB. Yes, Ileandra may not be a likeable character, but neither is this one I’ve been reading about. I certainly don’t have the incredible fan base that this author has, but I know that there are people out there who will still read about main characters that aren’t particularly likeable. And mine grows to be more so, while this one gets more arrogant, selfish and crazy.

Go on folks, tell me about characters you’ve come to dislike. Or characters about whom your opinion has drastically changed. I love hearing from you and remember, for each comment you make on posts throughout August up to September 26, your name will be put in the draw to win one of four free copies of my upcoming ebook. What are you waiting for! 🙂
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I Love You, But Right Now I Hate Your Guts

Posted on August 12, 2013 by Ileandra Young

openclipart - realistic green pencilHave you ever had that feeling? Someone you love dearly (sibling, parent or significant other) pisses you off so damn much that you want to poke them in the eye with a stubby pencil? If you say you haven’t, I won’t believe you. :p

I certainly have. In fact, I said this to my ex (or something very similar) during one of our fights (not that we had many, by the way, but when we did, we really did). He looked at me like I’d grown six extra heads. He just didn’t get it. And nothing I said could make him understand.

I didn’t – and still don’t – see what’s so hard about the concept. You can’t like somebody all the time, no matter how much you love them. It’s not possible. Sometimes they upset you or hurt you, or disappoint you. It isn’t all sunshine and roses, no matter who it is.

openclipart - butterflyThis has come up because I’m remembering some of the comments from a critique I received of SORB’s opening chapter. One of the comments was that Ileandra was not a very likeable character. I put the critique to one side and left it, allowing the comments to simmer in my mind. My back brain is getting very good at working on things while my front brain counts nappies, wipes up runny poo and keeps track of which of my boys tried to eat the squashed butterfly he found under the rug.

Today, I finally let my back brain talk to my front brain so they could discuss the comments I received. I’ve not been through all of them yet, but this comment stuck out for me like… well like a big sticky-out thing.

Ileandra isn’t likeable.

I bloody well hope not! I went through a lot of trouble while rewriting to ensure that in the opening chapters of the book Ileandra is seen as petty, shallow and self-centred.

Why? Because I don’t believe that every main character should be likeable. They should be interesting and you should be able to relate to them, but likeable? That’s not essential.

open clip art - little stick manSteerpike from Mervyn Peake’s Gormanghast certainly isn’t a likeable character, but he is one of, if not the main character of the first two books in the trilogy (look it up if you haven’t read it; they are amazing books). His exploits throughout the story are a terrible blend of tragic, horrific and downright savage, but he is the main character. And he holds my attention. He is interesting. I can relate to him on some level because, despite being utterly maniacal, he’s not a cardboard cut-out. He has thoughts and feelings that make sense and that can produce empathy in a reader. They certainly did in me. But I didn’t like him.

With Ileandra, the effect I’m looking for is slightly different. I want her to be a character that you understand, but dislike. I want the reader to want her to struggle, because, for the most part she deserves it. She floats through half the story getting her own way, having a whale of a time until, with a snap, it all gets very real. She is forced to change. Fast. She has to let go of the selfishness, growth some depth and make sacrifices just to survive. I want her to go on a full journey and earn your like. If, by the end of SORB, you still don’t like her, then there are two more books for her to win you over. I want her to really work for it because there are, to my mind, too many characters that are cute and fluffy and kind and gentle and winsome. And I’m bored of it. I’m tired of reading about them. I want to read about someone forcibly taught that life is hard and that to get what you want, you have to earn it. Maybe I’m just reading the wrong books, but the thought of being able to send that message through the course of a vampire story is just too delicious. I had to try it.

Hmm. I think that means I’m ready to start working on it again.

Do you guys think all main characters should be likeable? What is it about a main character that keeps you turning the pages?

I love hearing from you and talking to you so this time, I thought I’d offer a little encouragement. An incentive….Clipart lemon from OpenClipArt,Last week, Raven mentioned the upcoming release of the first story in the Meeting Each Other series. This week I can tell you that the first story in this series is named Vicki & Lara and that I’m offering free copies to four lucky people, which I will send to them the day before the ebook is released. If you want to be in with a chance to win a free copy of my first ebook, then all you need do is leave a comment below, or on any post I publish between now and September 27. I’ll add your name into a virtual hat every time you do and, on September 26 I’ll draw out four names. These four names will receive free copies of the Meeting Each Other: Vicki & Lara ebook in a format to suit their preferred e-reader (ie .mobi or.epub).

Don’t ever say I don’t give you anything. :p

So what are you waiting for? Get commenting. ^_^
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More News

Posted on August 9, 2013 by Raven ShadowHawk

Wow, my first post out on the loose. I should be skipping or at least feasting on a large chocolate sundae to celebrate. Unfortunately I have work to do. Life’s a bitch, eh? Maybe I can eat on the go…?

Yes, this is Raven. For those of you who don’t know who I am, you’d better check out this page. I’ll start by saying; ‘hi’ and ‘thanks for stopping in.’ I’ll follow by saying, yes, there is more news. I know, right? Any more and I may as well call myself CNN.

In the last post, Ileandra talked about the separation between herself and me (don’t think about it too much, you’ll go cross-eyed. Just roll with it, okay.). The reason this is so important is because I, that is to say we, are (finally!) taking the plunge .

In addition to Slippers & Chains, I’m pleased to announce the upcoming release of my very first ebook, published through Little Vamp Press!
*cue overly enthusiastic fist pump*
Yes. I figure it’s time to stop stalling and spouting excuses and finding problems to hold me back. So I’m just going to do it. Consider this something of a test run for Slippers & Chains.

On September 27 2013, I’ll be releasing one short story; the first in a series named ‘Meeting Each Other.’ The series will cover the meetings and first sexual encounters of a small cluster of related (not biologically, you perverts!) men and women. These stories, though erotic, fall more on the side of sensual, than explicit, but since I already have a taste for the process, you can expect the explicit stuff to follow quickly after.

In the coming weeks expect a few excerpts, a cover reveal and a competition to win one of four free copies.

What?

Oh yes, Little Vamp Press.logo for Little Vamp Press publisherI should also use this moment to mention that Little Vamp Press is the label I’ll be publishing under. It’s my own label, purely for the purposes of releasing my words, but who knows? Looking into the future, who is to say that I can’t use Little Vamp Press as a means to help indie authors get a leg up? If I won the lottery tonight, it would certainly be on my list of things to do; a publisher designed specifically to help new authors get their first publishing credits. Teaching, coaching and mentoring too. Oh, if only I were rich.

One day, eh?

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